67 replies to this topic

[Adamantiumwulf]

Welll my views are biased because I have been with my first and only girlfriend for almost 2 years (this sunday will be the 2 year aniversary)

The 18th is my wife and I's one year anniversary.

This stuff about hating people because they are getting laid and your not is bull. I waited tell I was married I didn't hate the people who were having sex while I wasn't. I felt sorry for them when they dumped one just to move on to another.

You want to now a good reason to wait tell you are married. Think about this one. You could virtually wipe out every STD in a couple generations if in your whole life you only had sex with your spouse. There are no religious or moral reasons there. Just makes a lot of sense. Instead of spending millions of dollars trying to find a cure teach people some self control.

We can't have that now can we. People stepping up and take responsibility for there actions. That's wrong now days.

I don't expect everyone to even listen to this but hey if your going to play the field protect yourself and your partner while your out playing the field.

Be safe and not sorry.

[Chibi Riya]

well, last night I was thinking about this and guess what I told myself?

"Well, this look like a big insult to Mars. And I dont like stuff that look like it is a insult to Mars. Whoever wrote this crap is very pathetic."

Yes, this article is a big insult and I dont like it at all. I mean I know some guys can be a jerk but we (yes everyone in the whole world) all have something in common- WE HAVE FEELINGS!!!

[max powerz]

General Veers i understood what you meant with the respect thing and thats why I didnt continue to defend what i was saying. But generally people who label themselves as players have no resect for themselves or others. And that in itself is another topic. Looks like adamantiumwulf and I have two things in comon though. We stand by the same points and have the same aniversary dates. Hope yours is more fun then mine. (i have to study on mine )

[Ridureyu]

Here are a few interesting gems from my ex...


...She was pissed because people sometimes called her "John Morey's girlfriend." She wanted me to be "Meagan's boyfriend," and nothing else. IN her mind, it was unfair that I was even named (As she said herself more than once).

She loved joking with her friends about how easy it was to "Control" me.

In her mind, the woman has all of the authority, but it's the man's responsibility to keep the relationship going. Example- if she's mad at me, it's my responsibility to sense this and apologize to her (This included the time that she was mad at me because she had a bad dream), and I was not allowed to be mad at her.

She was failing EVERY class for the second semester in a row, yet chewed me out when I offered to help. Why? because "It's a girl thing. You wouldn't understand!"

She loved it when he friends told me, "If you hurt her, I'll kill you," but when my friends said the same to her, she basically broke into tears and told me to ditch my friends.

When my parents expressed SOME concern, (Literally: "Hm... she seems really nice, but we're not sure yet,") she went ballistic for at least a week on end, choosing to ignore me very often because she was "Pissed:" at me, Mind you, if I didn't give her all of my attention all the time, she got extremely angry at me for "neglecting" her.

And finally- her favorite word is "Pissy." I know this because she'd ALWAYS use it to describe herself.



And you know what? The majority of women I've seen think that she was perfect in this relationship, and that I was an evil bastitch for dumping her. I've been told that "The girl makes the rules, you just have to follow them" more often than I want to stand. It's not right that some women get treated this way, but it's also wrong that men get it all the time now.

[Ridureyu]

Oh, yes- and I've also decided to wait until I'm married. This pissed Meagan off to no end, too, it would seem.

She began using the word "Love" in under a week, anmd tried to strongarm me into marrying her in roughly three weeks to a month. Even HER friends found that wrong.

Since I broke up with her, she dated three guys in a two-month period.

[Ridureyu]

It must be really hard to take me seriously with a "Space Butler" avatar, eh?

[max powerz]

No, you just knew some dumb bee-eye-itches where you were. Get used to it, there are amany places with them all over the place. I wouldve dumped her sooo fast if she did that crap to me.

[Adamantiumwulf]

You can take all the precautions that you want and nothing is 100% safe
except abstaining.

Yeah they should teach more of avoid these things if you are going to engage in sexual activities
and do these others.

I also doubt every dude or dudet with Aids, herpes, syphilis, genital warts, or some other std is
going to say ok we have to do this and this and this to keep you safe.

If you are going to play the field those are the chances that you take.

I don't recall knowing anyone who hated someone else for getting laid and they weren't. Well I do
now. Anger issues hmm. J/k

[Tsuzuki]

Rid, sorry to hear about the bad experience. I'm glad, though, that you chose to dump her. I would have done the same thing, if I were in the same position as you are. When did it happen, by the way?

On Monday (while at work), some woman made a sexist remark towards another worker and me...saying, "Hrmph...this is what happens when men are in charge" because we ran out of something. It bothered me for a bit, but I shrugged later on.

[Tsuzuki]

Another thing I wanted to bring up. Okay, first of all, I have said that I'm not ready to find that special somebody because I'm too busy with work, etc. Now, that this "male bashing" topic was brought up, it makes me more reluctant to actually fiind someone, date her, and marry her. Know what I mean? That's not to say that I don't want to start my own family. I still do...but running into the wrong person could hurt you.

[The Shizit]

getting hurt is a learning experience and part of life.

how do you know what kind of ice cream you like if you dont try some flavors?

[Tortle]

Holy crap-cakes... Veers wrote a friggin' essay on the subject, and I completely missed it... anyways...

Second, people need to relax. So what if men are painted a certain way?

You're probably right, I shouldn't let it get to me. But GOD DAMN, there's nothing more irritating than when I'm talking with a woman and she says, "Humph.... typical male..." I should let this slide, but it's so much more satisfying to respond with a nice cynical remark.

And Tsuzuki... don't let this discussion bring you down. There are plenty of nice women out there. Everyone has one bad relationship, but that's the one you learn most from. Besides, the more detailed your definition of what you want in a woman, the more likely that you'll have a good experience. You always get EXACTLY what you're looking for, but nothing more...

-Nathan

[jkaris]

If you are going to play the field, then go ahead, take the risks, etc. But....

Don't get upset when you get married and find out your wife has been with more guys than you have girls.

I've been messing around since I was a kid, lots of experience. I got married at 20, to my then on and off girlfriend. We had been "together" in an intimate sense for about a year, before I convinced her to finally marry me. (I was whooped on her for about 5 years prior). I am the only one she has ever been with, but I have been around (I can still count the number of girls on 2 hands though). It really bothers her that I had prior "relationships", as it makes her wonder if I am comparing her to the others, which I don't. Every girl is different. It's like trying to compare apples and oranges. I say to myself that if she had "been around" I wouldn't have married her, but who knows, love does funny things to a person.

By the way Veers, you are incorrect on the "player" aspect. The large majority of young girls are easily coerced into a sexual relationship, by a smooth talker. They have free will, but naivette plays a HUGE roll. Ask any older woman, and they will tell you from first hand experience. They have dreams of true love, and finding a soul mate, and are willing to do anything when that person (at least they THINK it's that person) comes around. And then they give it up, and he moves on to the next naive girl. And they repeat the mistake, until they get smart and realize that most guys only want to have sex, and that's it.

When my daughter starts developing, the wife and i will sit down and have the talk with her, and I will make it clear to her that 90% of the guys out there only want to hit it, and quit it. That she is special, and should save herself until she finds that special guy, one who has proven himself to her.
I'll also have some pretty heavy guidlines for her, so I don't have to worry about her sneaking off after school or in the middle of the night to go fool around (damn, your teenage years give you lots of experience that you can be wary of when your kids get those ages, hahah). But hopefully she will have enough self respect to not want to do that.

No one respects a girl who is easy, or plays the field. No one. And no one really respects a guy who does that either. Maybe a little envy, but generally not respect.

[jkaris]

Oh yeah, I've seen the "too strict" effect many times. I'm more along the guidelines of giving her reasons why SHE wouldn't want to do it. That way if ever she is in those situations, she'll just look at the guy and tell him to eff off and die. I want to raise her to have her OWN strong convictions, not just try to force mommy and daddy's desires on her. (Transfer of ownership, old sales trick, hehe)

Sex isn't something that should be taken lightly. As nonchalant as we have become about it these days, there are still plenty of emotions attached to the act. It's part of being human.

Alot of college age girls are the same way as teenagers. Still naive and hoping for Mr. Right. Sad but true.

I think it's inherantly female to hope for the best even when you see the worst all around, and inherantly male to want to hump every hot chick you see.

[Adamantiumwulf]

The rules thing can back fire quickly.

Had a friend in High school who did all that he coudl to do the oppiste of what his dad wanted him to do. Kinda like veers story. HIs little borther followed the rules and probably had an easier time.

It is amazing how if you give two kids the same set of rules how they can react to them. They usually go to one end of the spectrum. Either totally crazy or accept the rules and do what they are told.

There are adults out there who get played. Just beacuse you turn 18 or are in college doesn't mean you know how to handle everything that comes at you.

I was speaking in generalities again, I’m sorry for not being explicitly clear. I just think there is inherently risk in everything. Because I might be in a fatal car accident doesn’t mean I don’t drive. Because I might be robbed doesn’t mean I don’t leave my windows open.

Generalities, grey areas middle of the road gotta love it haha . You could rob a bank and might not get caught doesnt mean you would go and do it, doesnt mean you won't either.

You have a choice in everything. You make it on what seems to be the best choice on your current knowledge of the situation and what you would like the outcome to be.

Risk in most things yeah. Your actions can increase or decrease the risk though. When you drive you drive deffensively and watch out for what others are doing. Because you might be robbed you might leave the windows open but put bars on them. If the neighborhood is in the geto are you going to leave the windows open even if there are bars on the windows if you have anythign you value?

I guess I like to think in absolutes.

[Adamantiumwulf]

and inherantly male to want to hump every hot chick you see.

HAHA what a hoot.

[jkaris]

You know I think we're all wrong about teenagers or adults. I think it is more of a thinking style that allows people to be taken advantage of whether it be in business, sex, etc.

Good point.

[Adamantiumwulf]

Thinking and emotional. Some people are to scared or nerveous to do anythign about it.

Get caught up in the what if's and what will others think.

Good point Veers

[The Shizit]

Alot of college age girls are the same way as teenagers. Still naive and hoping for Mr. Right. Sad but true.

living in the college town Penn State, i can testify that 100% my man. girls are stupid and only go for the a-holes.

here is a little write up my friend sent me. it is from a website, but i will just paste what the man has to say. i am in this same exact situation now and i have been in the same exact situation a few times before. it is entitled

"Nice Guy's Finish Last"

It’s amazing that a-holes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are a-holes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what a-holes their predators really are, they pretend like the a-hole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the a-hole into a nice guy, but a-holes will always be a-holes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the a-hole. But she claims to love the a-hole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the a-hole right away, instead she will stay with the a-hole.

Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their a-hole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the a-hole. The nice guy gets the crap end of the stick while the a-hole gets all the action.

I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the a-hole is because a-holes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the a-hole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The a-hole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an a-hole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the a-holes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an a-hole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another a-hole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you.

Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect a-hole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect a-hole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your a-hole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.

[Tsuzuki]

Tsuzuki, it sounds like you’ve got some pretty soft skin. You were actually bothered by that women’s comment, and this topic makes you think that you don’t want a woman. Are you kidding and I missed the joke? You said running into the wrong person could really hurt, but if you cut yourself off from the opportunities to get hurt you’re also cutting yourself off from finding someone great.

It bothered me enough that I wanted to say something back at her. I didn't do that, though. I'm not always soft, though. I do have a mean side. I never said that I was going to give up on those opportunities, though. It's just I don't want to run into the wrong woman.

[Tortle]

This was sort of covered before...

http://www.littlerub...a6715b627ffcc5f

Just scroll down about halfway and you'll get to the Nice Guys discussion... How the hell did we go from Christmas to Nice Guys in that topic?!

Anyway, it's not that women only go for guys who treat them poorly. Women are looking for guys who have healthy self-esteem and are not clingy or dependant. I used to be what you would consider the classic "nice guy"...you know, the respected, listener/friend-type figure. But women completely neglected me. That's because women want psychological strength, and often (as in my case) the "nice guy" is too clingy and meek to be appealing. Also, a guy has to give women a reason to go out with him, she's not going to choose him based solely on his "nice guyness". In my case, knowledge of the intricacies of Star Wars just didn't cut it.

When I started swing dancing, not only did I become more confident and independant, but also skilled in something that greatly appeals to women. Only then did I start getting a lot of attention from the ladies.

-Nathan