143 replies to this topic

[AmoiMan]

<_<

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[mimoman]

That picture is funny imp!

-mimoman

[arforbes]

Johnny, that aircraft carrier picture is hilarious!

[swoodington]

This is not mine but it is funny.



As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, next Saturday at 2:00 PM Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti terrorist effort.


All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. And, since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.


The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity.


God bless America!

[AmoiMan]

That's great!!

[Sniper33]

That sounds goot swoodington. Well except for the 6 pack part (I dont drink). I wouldnt mind walking to my window and seeing all this happening. Of course you would have to get your camera ready for a night on the town.

[Knuxman]

replace beer with mountain dew and im so there

[Sniper33]

Here is a joke that I was able to dig up.

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "OK Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either." "Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm unattached; I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black." "Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live so I accepted a job in a porno movie. The lead man was black." "Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy." "Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted eyes."

"Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice." At this the midwife again apologises, collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank god for that!" "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked. "Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark!"

[Sniper33]

Here Is another one.

A brunette, redhead and blonde were at a special magic Amusement Park. One of the rides was a long slide at the end of which was a magic pool. On the way down the slide, all the rider had to do was shout out his or her favourite drink, and hey-presto they would land in a pool full of this drink.

So off they went. The brunette went first. On her way down she shouted out "Vodka" at the top of her voice, and sure enough she landed in a pool of the finest vodka. After filling several bottles and glasses she went home, happy but a little un-steady.

Next the redhead - who loved a 10 year old malt, went flying down shouting "Whisky", and of course into a pool of whisky she fell. She had to be dragged away practically unconscious.

Now it was the blondes turn. She was very excited, and on her way down he was enjoying the ride so much she shouted - "Weeeeeee"

[TheOrgg]

[jkaris]

.... "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark!"

Eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[Imp]

[mimoman]

Poor easter bunny, he just wanted to give the woman some candy...

-mimoman

[Sniper33]

IMP thats is just wonderful. I wonder if the lady ever got the "slipper" on?

[Sniper33]

There was a bear and a rabbit. Now Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much and one day, whilst they were walking through the woods they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: "Ooh, I don't often meet anyone in these parts." They were amazed that the frog had talked to them. The golden frog admitted: "Mind you, when I do meet someone I always give them six wishes. You can have three wishes each in this case.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himselfShaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!

[AmoiMan]

A bear and a rabbit were taking a crap in the woods
the bear turned to the rabbit and said,"excuse me, do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?"
the rabbit replied,"no i don't"
so the bear wiped his arse with the rabbit

[TheOrgg]

I thought it went like this:

A bear and a rabbit find themselfs stairing at each other while taking a dump in the woods.

The rabbit, in the way of making polite conversation, asks the bear, "Mr. Bear, do you have a problem with removing excrement* when you finish excreting*?"

"No," says Mr. Bear, "I don't."

With that, he grabbed the rabbit by the feet, wiped his buttox* on the rabbit, and threw it in the bushes.




*changed for decency's sake

[AmoiMan]

either way....same point

[TheOrgg]

[BaltanII]

Heh. Castle Nerf. Once they get some fire, though... I'd like to see that bounce off! Mwahaha!

-Boaconda

[smackman]

Whats the difference between a 57' Chevy and 57 dead babies?

I don't have a 57' Chevy in my garage.

[mimoman]

Oh no... not dead baby jokes...

-mimoman

[Chibi Riya]

i got a good joke....

Boaconda IS AN ODD LOOKING SNAKE GUY!
(.... do anyone here get it?)

[Imp]

[mimoman]

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think that one explains MUCH MUCH more...

-mimoman