259 replies to this topic

[Jabroniville]

 

#104: JEERER MONKEY

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-The fat nose of this guy indicates that he is a Proboscis Monkey, famous for such a feature. Called "Dutch Monkeys" by the natives of Indonesia (who thought the Dutch colonists had fat bellies and huge noses, just like these guys), they are the largest monkey species endemic to Asia. The famous nose is known mostly to the males (as a sign of virility), who are also twice the size of females. One male rules a group of many females, as is usual for primates, with the rest being all-male groups. Proboscis Monkeys hail from the three nations of Borneo- Indonesia, Brunei & Malaysia, mostly sticking to rivers- making it among the most aquatic of primates.

 

Toy Description: Hahaha, oh GEEZ, this is a monstrosity. One of the two ugliest Laser Beasts, Jeerer Monkey is the cheapest of the "late release" LBs, owing to... well, he's UGLY. Like, LOOK AT THIS! Big, wide head. Dumb expression. Super-phallic bulbous nose. A hand that looks like... whatever the hell that thing is. The weird mustard yellow color scheme. It's almost impossibly bad, especially for a line that usually excelled so much. Even the detailed armor can't save it! Like... he's wearing SHORTS! And what the hell is with his hand? What IS that? 

 

His face is at least a little detailed- a pronounced, long mouth, with a nose that juts out straight forward and is quite rounded and bulbous. There are some wrinkles at the side of his mouth, and the fur on the top of his head appears to have raised portions near the top of his face.

 

Colors: Six. His fur is a dull, mustard yellow, and he has a pink face. His eyes are red, while his armor is dark brown with dark green highlights. And, unusually, he has a SIXTH color- a yellow rim around his Chest Marble! So there IS another guy with six colors in the line!

Armor: Jeerer Monkey has a somewhat detailed set of dark brown armor, sitting in two pieces. The chest sports a trio of small green lights on each side, surrounded by raised edges. His shoulder pads are two-tiered, with very squared-off levels. His codpiece is very boxy, with three vents on each side of a rectangular piece over the crotch. Unusually, he has "shorts"- boxy and sporting vents on the front and raised "rims" going around the bottoms. His feet wear little "anklets" consisting of a single wireframe with little rectangular boxes up front. His right arm has a tiny little wristband, while his "Weird Hand" has a very long wristguard, a joint/notch in the center, and four unusual phalanges sticking out in a splayed-out fashion- these are segmented and come to points. There is also a little green light on the top of his head.

 

Weapon: His gun is a golden, humanesque head with three spikes on the back (resembling his Weird Hand's phalanges), and a gun oddly sticking out of the front of its face. It's very weird.

Hands & Feet: One small mitten hand, and one odd piece of metal that looks like an alien, mechanical "hand", albeit with fingers of equal size. His feet leave all four toes (complete with blunt nails) exposed.

Easily-Broken Bits: Probably the wings. Good like keeping the paint on the tips of his knees, too.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope.

 

Overall Score: 4/10 (very detailed armor, but REALLY ugly and with a "WTF?" inexplicable weird hand)

Edited by Jabroniville, 11 June 2019 - 11:28 PM.

[ZebraLegion]

Agreed.  This dude is hideous.  

 

I actually like his gun.  I don't understand the spikes that match his weird hand, though.

 

4/10 seems generous! I'm going to go back through the thread and see who has the lowest score.  I can't remember anyone lower than 4/10.

[ZebraLegion]

Here's the list so far of your favorite and least favorite just because:

 

Lowest Rating

3/10 Danger Dog (Agree he's pretty boring and I love dogs)

3/10 Tarsier Tyrant (Disagree.  I love this weirdo.  I'd give him like 8.5/10)

3.5/10 Ground Wolf (Agree.  A wolf could be great and this was a letdown)

4/10 Jeerer Monkey (Agree.  I might give him a 2.5/10)

4/10 Ossified Orangutan (Disagree.  Loved him as a kid.  Reminded me of the gorilla that used a special glove (?) in the movie Congo. 9/10)

4/10 Bludgeonly Bulldog (Disagree.  Not spectacular but solid.  7.5/10)

4/10 Grizzly Bear (Disagree.  He is a pretty boring sculpt but he was part of my small army that my brothers gave me so I loved him. 7/10)

 

Highest Rating

10/10 Zariganian (Agree.  He's pretty cool. 9/10)

10/10 Bloodthirsty Bison (Disagree.  Never had him as a kid and he just doesn't do it for me. 5/10)

10/10 War Weasel (Agree.  Legend.)

10/10 Slasher Seahorse (Agree.  I wouldn't give him a 10 but he's great 9/10)

10/10 Black Panther (Agree.  He's amazing.)

10/10 Cutthroat Cuttlefish (Disagree.  Never liked him or the Octopus at all 4/10)

 

I can update this once you finish all 112! Are you going to do the Clear Carp, Gator, and Stone Cobra?  Any of the customs?

 

What will we do when this is overrrrrrrrr? 

[Jabroniville]

Here's the list so far of your favorite and least favorite just because:

 

Lowest Rating

3/10 Danger Dog (Agree he's pretty boring and I love dogs)

3/10 Tarsier Tyrant (Disagree.  I love this weirdo.  I'd give him like 8.5/10)

3.5/10 Ground Wolf (Agree.  A wolf could be great and this was a letdown)

4/10 Jeerer Monkey (Agree.  I might give him a 2.5/10)

4/10 Ossified Orangutan (Disagree.  Loved him as a kid.  Reminded me of the gorilla that used a special glove (?) in the movie Congo. 9/10)

4/10 Bludgeonly Bulldog (Disagree.  Not spectacular but solid.  7.5/10)

4/10 Grizzly Bear (Disagree.  He is a pretty boring sculpt but he was part of my small army that my brothers gave me so I loved him. 7/10)

 

Highest Rating

10/10 Zariganian (Agree.  He's pretty cool. 9/10)

10/10 Bloodthirsty Bison (Disagree.  Never had him as a kid and he just doesn't do it for me. 5/10)

10/10 War Weasel (Agree.  Legend.)

10/10 Slasher Seahorse (Agree.  I wouldn't give him a 10 but he's great 9/10)

10/10 Black Panther (Agree.  He's amazing.)

10/10 Cutthroat Cuttlefish (Disagree.  Never liked him or the Octopus at all 4/10)

 

I can update this once you finish all 112! Are you going to do the Clear Carp, Gator, and Stone Cobra?  Any of the customs?

 

What will we do when this is overrrrrrrrr? 

Hey, neat! Thanks for assessing them . 

I would go lower with Jeerer Monkey, but it's clear the armor and his Weird Hand ARE really detailed. It's all that saved him from like a 2 or a 3. He annoys me by sucking so bad- he's a LATE NUMBER LASER BEAST!!! The guys around him are Dragons and T-Rexes and junk. 

Haha, I'm really tortured by the notion of completing this list, almost, because this forum is SO QUIET, even with my notes. It's been about three topics updated in the past YEAR AND A HALF. Again, I'm upset that I discovered this forum so late- I feel like all the big conversations have already happened. So like... if I finish my notes, will I forget to even visit here for months at a time? There's a FB page or two, but it's mostly Buy & Sell stuff. 

I might make some notes on the clear guys, but they're not really unique figures. Customs might be fun (I have Green Mountain's Ankylosaurus!). But I'm still like 20 names off from being DONE.

[ZebraLegion]

I hear you.

 

We were a little late to the game when this board was popping.

 

Plus if we could've gotten interested in BB years earlier think of all the money we could've saved! 

 

Prices seem to have jumped since the beginning of the year.  There is one lunatic selling complete series 1 beasts for $40.  Recently he added beasts with broken weapons for $40.  Nobody will buy them. But some beasts without weapons are selling for $15 for common ones.  

 

I look forward to the next installment!  Let's cherish the last few and hope something new gets people excited again on here.

[Jabroniville]

 

 

#106: MONKEY-FIGHTER

 

Animal Basis: 

 

-It's... hard to tell. He's probably a monkey, given the name, but his features are so generic that he could be ANY species. A flat face, short muzzle, pointed canines, big ears... lots of stuff looks like that. Could be a Capuchin or a Howler Monkey or whatever.

The Capuchin is a pretty famous iconic monkey, used as an Organ Grinder sidekick in stereotypes of old, trashy New York for a long time. Y The Last Man, a pretty good comic (though the ending sucks the life out of you like nothing else), uses one as Yorick's eternal sidekick and "pretty sh*tty pet", though in real life, they're very intelligent, and are able to help paraplegics and others in need. They live pretty much like lions, with a male ruling a large group of females with whom he mates, but rival males are a constant threat, and like most mammals, they will kill the infants of the predecessor to ensure the females reach estrus quicker.

 

Toy Description: What in the name of GOD is THIS atrocity supposed to be?!? Monkey-Fighter has unquestionably the WORST face in the entire Beast line- the equivalent of that cartoon face the lady sketched on Jesus in that painting. This is like something designed by somebody who has no idea how art works, but somehow got a job at Hasbro in the 1980s. It doesn't help that even the image on the STA toy site is HORRIBLY painted, with splotches all over the sides of the face.

 

Monkey-Fighter has long arms, mitten-like hands, a weird scale-pattern all over his body... which I guess is actually the undershirt of a NINJA, given his headband also indicates ninja-stuff. And the ugliest face in Beasts history.I... I can't imagine what they were thinking when they came up with him. "Um... what's with his face?" "Umm... we needed 112, okay?"

 

Overall, yeah, I guess he's supposed to be a ninja. I didn't quite notice it until I REALLY looked at what all his bits were. They typically have those headband symbol things- called "headband protectors" and being common in anime and video games (Naruto in particular uses them to hold symbols for the various Ninja clans). The "mail" armor over his body seems to indicate protection, and his armor is actually padding.

 

Colors: Five. His "skin" is dark grey, and he has a blotchy, pale, pink-ish face. His eyes are red, and his armor is dark green. His secondary color (Marble Ring, four armor bits, his headband) are all a dull, mustard yellow.

Armor: Monkey Fighter has a very simple set of armor, resembling that of a ninja, with padding instead of real ARMORY bits, y'know? His chest apepars to have a vest (with an open chest). His shoulder pads are very light and don't stick out much, and he has two smaller pads on the sides of his arms, along with small wristbands. I can't make out much of his codpiece (it has two short lines etched into the front), and his "shorts" are basically long green pants with round kneepads (with diamond shapes etched into the tips), and a "rim" around the bottoms. He also has anklets and a head covering, which has a yellow headband wrapped around the front, with a large forehead protector. The symbol looks... like an "R", and I'm not going to go through an entire list of Japanese kanji just to find that, lol. His chest straps have four little yellow bits that are probably supposed to be shuriken.

 

Weapon: His gun is a golden,... non head-like thing. The gun tip is short, and sticks out of what kind of looks like a helmet with side-vents. 

Hands & Feet: Two mitten hands. His feet are exposxed, showing four long toes each.

Easily-Broken Bits: None, though he appears to be HORRIBLY painted.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. You'd have to pay ME to have one.

 

Overall Score: 2/10 (good heavens, he's just hideous. Talk about a failure of design)

[ZebraLegion]

Can't argue with that.  He's the worst of the entire line.

 

A new leader for least favorite- the only beast so far to get 2/10.

[Exactobeast]

jeerer can't help that he was born that way.  The better to smell you!!!!!

[Jabroniville]

 

#99: MANTFRENZY

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

Though the name indicates a Mandrill, this guy more strongly resembles a Baboon. You can tell because he has huge tufts of hair (Mandrills keep theirs straight and short), and a more elongated muzzle, instead of a Mandrill's shorter, multicolored one. In particular, Mantfrenzy resembles a Hamadryas Baboon, with the longer mane (possibly the origin of a "Mantle" in the name "Mantfrenzy"). An equally-fierce primate, Baboons pop up around Africa in a few different species (the Olive is the biggest, being Mandrill-sized), and can be very dangerous to smaller animals. In groups, they will commonly charge LEOPARDS, as the cats will kill individuals they find (a large monkey like this is dangerous, but definitely no match for a big cat by itself).

 

The largest baboons can hit 88 lbs., which makes them QUITE fearsome as a threat, given that they have extremely long, sharp canine teeth. Like most primates, they live in harems, though lower-class males can still mate with plenty of females. In captivity, they can live up to 45 years (about 30 in the wild). 

 

Toy Description: Completing our Monkey Trio is... wait... a COOL ONE? Oh thank goodness; they're not ALL trash. Mantfrenzy actually looks very generic for the Laser Beasts, but the baseline Beast concept is so good that generic usually WORKS. He actually has a really solid look and color scheme, being an albino-looking baboon.

 

Mantfrenzy has a long muzzle with a simian nose (flat and broad, with large nostrils), a pronounced frown, two lines running from his nose to his eyes, and a furrowed, prominent brow. Quite the nice expression, all in all. He's one of the only Beasts with an actual HAIRSTYLE, sporting long, flowing hair sprouting up and to the sides, running down to his shoulders.

 

His beige and white body contrast really well with the dark blue armor, which has some nice details. It's a good figure, altogether.

 

Colors: Five. His main fur is a darker, grey-ish beige. His face is a fleshy, pasty white. His eyes are dark red, and his armor dark blue, with yellow highlights on the chest.

Armor: Mantfrenzy has a pretty simple one piece set of armor, with a "ribbed" theme throughout. The shoulder pads, wristguards, and codpiece all have three rounded "ribs" encircling them- the should pads having lines breaking up the ribs on the outside, while the wrists have them on the inside. The front of the armor is flat (chest and codpiece), while there are six square, yellow "lights" above the Chest Marble, running diagonally to just under the shoulders. 

 

His boots fully encompass his legs below the knees, featuring very round boots and almost spherical kneepads (with a round bit on each side). 

 

Weapon: His gun is a silver rifle with a baboon-like "mane" on the very back. The gun barrel has three parts connecting it to the gun tip, for some reason.

Hands & Feet: Two mitten hands. His feet are hidden in the boots.

Easily-Broken Bits: None, though expect most very light figures in dark armor to have some very prominent weathering.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope.

 

Overall Score: 7/10 (actually very solid, if a bit generic)

Edited by Jabroniville, 11 May 2020 - 02:52 PM.

[Jabroniville]

 

#101: SKULL GROTESS

 

Animal Basis:

 

In an incredibly unusual move, meet the ONLY Beast in the entire line to be based off of a fictional creature! Skull Grotess is based off of a European-style Dragon, sporting large horns, batlike wings, and a reptilian complexion. It's super-strange to see them suddenly dump in a made-up animal alongside all these others, because it makes you wonder why there's so many monkeys and dogs if they intended to throw in stuff like this. Why not a unicorn, sphinx, griffin or chimera? THAT would have been sweet!

 

Dragons are of course part of European myth for centuries, with the Ancient Greeks going on about them. They're likely based off of various Serpent Myths (like the Egyptian God Set, who devours the sun every night), conflated with the Rule of Cool of adding WINGS to everything. They differ from Asian Dragons by way of being fire-breathing, evil, usually unintelligent monsters, whereas Asian Dragons are quite benevolent, serpentine, and more water-themed.

 

Toy Description: Skull Grotess is one of the big legends of the Laser Beasts- our only fictional creature, and a COOL-LOOKING one at that! He has a mottled, lizard-like complexion, green skin, cool yellow armor, wings like a bat, and even horns- an impressive silhouette and some good details. His head is very reptilian, with a very long forhead, sprouting off two bone-colored horns (which swoop out, then inwards, then out again at the tip). His mouth has some small, pointed teeth (not colored), and his nose is a big Asian-esque, being fairly dog-like. His wings have three phalanges that I can see, and have "fingernail" points on the peaks. His skin has a lot of rounded scales on the head and legs, though the arms look plain.

 

It's a lot of great details, and probably makes him the most expensive Non-Rarity of the line. EVERYONE wants a Skull Grotess.

 

Colors: Five. His skin is a darker green, and his horns are bone-colored. His armor is a dull yellow, with red for his eyes and Secondary Colors. His wings appear to be a darker yellow than his armor, but that may just be the photo.

Armor: Skull Grotess has a simple one-piece set of armor that nontheless looks really great, as it's angular and boxy on top, and rounded at the boots. The armor has a generic codpiece, but the Chest Marble is surrounded by two large, red lights on the left, and two sets of four stacked lights on the right. His shoulder pads are angled outwards and have little yellow raised circles on them, and three vertical lines below those. His wrist-guards are very detailed, with four sides inset by corners, and a rim around the side closest to the elbow. Contrasting his upper half are the boots, which are VERY rounded and organic-looking- essentially big curvy boots with giant circles on the sides and a longer cylinder-shaped bulge on the front- all inset with raised lines and squares, making them look very cool and detailed. His feet are armored as well, but come to three pointed toes, lined along the joints.

 

Weapon: His gun is a golden rifle with an extremely long, evil-looking dragon's head, lined with sharp teeth, and having horns pointing all the way back. A tiny rifle tip sticks out of the nose. Thing looks AWESOME.

Hands & Feet: Two mitten hands(with "fingernail lines" across the tips). His feet are hidden in the boots.

Easily-Broken Bits: The horns are probably prone to TONS of weathering, and he's also got wings- super likely to get torn off through rough play.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. Want one sooooooooooooo bad.

 

Overall Score: 10/10 (You have to ask? This dude looks SO frickin' cool.)

Edited by Jabroniville, 04 July 2019 - 02:53 AM.

[ZebraLegion]

Yup.  He's pretty freakin awesome.

 

I might have to save for several months for him.

 

Totally agree with you about so many similar animals and then they throw in a DRAGON.  

[Jabroniville]

 

#90: GRENCATS

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-Grencats's tiny mouth and pointed ears mark him as what is mostly likely the only housecat in the line of Battle Beasts.

 

-Cats are the most common pet animal in the world, and rival the Dog for popularity in the United States (the ease of taking care of them is making them more numerous by the day). They lend themselves well to modern-living, they can live just fine in apartments, and can be left to themselves without temper or play issues (the same cannot be said of most dog breeds- also, cats don't bark). Plus, they bury their own poop and pee. Seriously, I love cats (not a dog person at all), as even their bad traits (such as the evil) are rather cute and amusing. I mean, a violent, snapping kitty is kind of funny as long as it doesn't scratch you- an angry dog will get you booted from your apartment building. They're domesticated from the Wildcat, likely from a VERY small gene pool originally, and have quickly modified into different breeds, most of which are far more similar to each other compared to the wierdly-variable Dogs (most Cats generally just look like Cats, though Persians have weirdly-flat faces).

 

-Cats are also much better hunters than domesticated dogs (they go completely feral within a few generations, and have always been excellent hunters of small animals), and can survive just fine in the wilderness, but are frequently victimized by Coyotes (think about THAT next time you abandon an unwanted pet to a random farm).

 

Toy Description: Sporting the greatest name in the entire line, bar none, Grencats actually looks really cool- his light blue armor plays off well against his light beige coloring, and his big, bright eyes add a cuteness factor to a heavily-armed, armored-up powerhouse. He has a lot of detailing, including fur on all his limbs (many LBs have bare arms), a Weird Hand, and fur on his face, right down to the distinctive pattern of a tabby cat on the top of his head from the looks of the pics I've seen. He has a tiny little nose and a small muzzle made up of whiskered cheeks and a little nub of a chin. His ears are small and pointed, and his eyes are very large. I really like the use of primary colors, here- nothing fance, just blue, red & yellow.

 

Colors: Four. His base color is a light beige-ish coloring. His armor and eyes are a very light blue. His Secondary Colors are both yellow (big markings, claws) and dark red (chest hilights).

Armor: Grencats has a simple one-piece suit of armor, with a rounded portion on the codpiece and a little raised "button" on the crotch, and a rectangular raised portion above the Chest Marble. Two red boxes are on both sides, near the shoulders, sporting four little "lights". His shoulder pads are fairly small compared to the rest of the line, with flat, simple shapes- a curved rim surrounding a yellow top, with little "rivets" on the front, back and sides. His right wrist is utterly plain except for a raised circle in the middle of the front, and a yellow guard for the back of the hand. The left wrist has a Weird Hand, with a TON of little rasied, rounded bits all over it (making it look like a machine, actually), and three large yellow claws sticking out of it. His boots don't have a lot of detail, just being smooth boots with rounded toe-tips (raised squares on the tops). His kneepads are boxy, with forward-facing vents on the front, and a half-sphere on each side of the pad.

 

Weapon: His silver gun looks very much like a generic gun, except for a tiny kitty head on the top, at the end of a tube thing.

Hands & Feet: One mitten hand with a line indicating finger and thumbnails, and a very large, mechanical blue box with three yellow claws.

Easily-Broken Bits: None, but I think he's made of blue plastic with white paint, so even light play is going to reveal some blue coloring underneath his white exterior paint.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 8.5/10 (One of the best Laser Beasts)

Edited by Jabroniville, 23 September 2019 - 03:41 PM.

[Exactobeast]

cute, with claws!

[Jabroniville]

Battle Fennec is based off of the Fennec Fox, a tiny, shy variety of fox. Their giant ears are for better cooling (large surfaces have more space to dissipate heat from), and also enable them to hear prey moving in underground tunnels.

Feenecs are the smallest variety of canid species in the world. Hailing from Northern Africa, they exhibit many unique traits compared to other fixed, such as fewer chromosomes and pack behaviour.

Toy Description: Battle Fennec has a great look, being cool despite being based off of a cute, small animal. His armor has a sharp colour scheme, good detail, and a small head, despite the huge ears. He has a tiny little nose and muzzle, an annoyed expression, and long batlike ears with indented undersides.

Colours: Five. Light brown base colors, dark grey armor, blue secondary colors, and dark pink eyes and armor indents. The back of his head appears to be a dark brown.
Armor: Fennec’s armor is very detailed. His Chest Marble has three vents on each corner, with two smaller ones right above, all on blue strips. His crotch had a blue spot with a raised square in it, too. There are dark purple spots below his collar, above the vents, and at the bottom corners of his Chest Marble. His shoulder pads are two long, swooping ones that come to points, and have two little raised bits sticking down. His wristguards are very detailed, being rounded but having two small indents with lines in them.

His boots are simple, with two vents below the knees, rounded knees, and a flat cylinder on each side.

Weapon: I actually can’t tell from the pic. Looks like it has Fennec ears from above.
Hands & Feet: Mitten hands.
Easily-Broken Bits: Probably those ears would get blunted.

Do I Have One?: Nope.

Overall Score: 8.5/10 (One of the best Laser Beasts)

Edited by Jabroniville, 24 July 2019 - 07:49 PM.

[Jabroniville]

 

#96: STRONG HURRICANE

 

Animal Basis:

 

-There's actually a solid number of owls this guy could theoretically be, since numerous types have those distinct ears. While the Great Horned Owl's sheer size and majesty means it's the one most likely to us, it's also a more regional animal- the Japanese would likely be more familiar with the Eurasian Eagle Owl, which has similar tufts. There's also the Long-Eared Owl and the Short-Eared Owl. Assumine it's a Eurasian Eagle-Owl, then it's representing one of the largest of all owls, who covers a vast range, from Spain to the Korean peninsula.

 

Toy Description: Strong Hurricane, with one of the best names in the line is... solid. Not amazing, but I like how different he looks without also being dumb (a big issue with some "different" Beasts). He's fairly slender, and is the only winged guy with such odd wings- they sprout up from behind his arms, appearing to be in a lowered, diving position- the feathers pointing straight up. They appear very well-detailed, though. He has a big, round head, looking a bit cartoonish with his giant, bulbous eyes, too. Noticeably "horns" are raised from his big eyebrows, ane he sports a tiny yellow beak. There appears to be a "fur" design etched into his skin as well, and he's got birdlike legs, where they're very short and stick forwards at the knee, with feet projecting from a faraway point. Strong detailing on his face (white "mutton chops"), and a noticeably mustard-yellow color scheme on his armor help him stand out. He doesn't look as tough as other Beasts, but he's detailed enough, and stands out.

 

Colors: Five. His base color is a generic brown, while his armor is a mustard yellow. His mutton chops are white, and his beak is a bright yellow. His eyes and tiny vents on his armor are blue.

Armor: Strong Hurricane has a bulbous, rounded bit of armor. A full bodysuit with some rectangular designs etched into his torso around his Chest Marble, with some blue vents on each side. His shoulder pads are rounded, with some notches on top and pointed edges on the inside and outside parts. His wrist guards are rounded, with twin spikes at the tops, and lines dividing them in half. He's got an elongated codpiece (hee hee), and very short, flat boots, with a straight "ramp" going from knee to toe.

 

Weapon: His silver gun looks very much like a generic gun, except for a tiny owl head above the ammo box, and four birdlike "feathers" sticking up diagonally from behind it.

Hands & Feet: Two mitten hands.

Easily-Broken Bits: I'd imagine those wings are tricky to keep intact.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 7.5/10 (Very solid)

[Jabroniville]

 

#96: BROWN LION

 

Animal Basis:

-Another example of animal-copying from the original lion, Brown Lion is simply another lion figure.

 

Toy Description: Peculiarly, one of the Laser Beasts was Brown Lion, who is the same animal type as Pirate Lion. Only because of different sculpting standards, he appears completely different from the #1 Battle Beast- his head is much smaller and closer to an actual Lion's, making PL look much more cartoonish as a result. This guy has that rich caramel color scheme, but cool dark red armor, making him a bit of a stand-out, but he doesn't have the dinstinctive look, flair, or fashion sense of the BB lion. 

 

Brown Lion has a pronounced muzzle and fairly large nose, as well as a mouth that somewhat opens. He has a mane of shoulder-length blond hair, too. He has common LB proportions, with a smaller head, and a tall, broad body.

 

Colors: Five. His base color is a rich caramel brown, while his armor is a dark red. His secondary color is yellow, though it appears his mane and one shoulder-bit is a darker yellow than that of his armor. His eyes are bright red, not matching the armor.

Armor: Brown Lion has some of the simplest armor of the LBs, but that's not always a bad thing. It's a classic one-piece, with notches on the chest and shoulders. His Chest Marble is encircled by bright yellow, with one yellow triangle on each side. Two long yellow "headlights" strips are along his chest. His shoulder pads are blocky, with large raised straps on top of each- the left arm has a dark blond color, while the right arm has a bright yellow one. The wrist-guards are very blocky, with notches at each edge, and a very large, boxy "rim" at the bottom of the wrist. The codpiece is pretty typical and also boxy, while the legs are multi-tier bits with rounded kneepads, an extended triangle below that, and pointed boots.

 

Weapon: His silver gun looks very much like a generic gun, but has a lion's face just above the handle.

Hands & Feet: Two mitten hands.

Easily-Broken Bits: None.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 8/10 (Very solid)

 

 

[Jabroniville]

 

#108: KICKBACK

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-Kickback is pretty clearly based off of a grasshopper, famous flying insects known also for their jumping prowess. Grasshoppers are famous for this aspect, but also notorious when they form swarms, under which circumstances they are better known as locusts. Their ravenous appetites make them incredibly worrisome to agriculture-based societies, as they were deadly during the Dust Bowl of the thirties. Because of this, grasshoppers tend to have a very negative image as far back as human civilization goes, such as an old fable in which the grasshopper plays while the ant forages and works, leaving the grasshopper to starve. Loose women, hopping from man to man, are also called "Grasshoppers". 

 

Their vaunted leaping abilities come from their hind legs, which have a "catapalt" mechanism that allows them to leap for up to a meter without the use of their wings- a distance far greater to their size than anything humans can pull off. Grasshopper relatives include crickets (who use their jumping legs to "sing", famously so) and katydids.

 

Kickback himself has the distinctive slender grasshopper head and straight-up antennae.

 

Toy Description: Here's another weird one- out of nowhere, we suddenly get INSECTS? In a line that, until now, had featured only a single Spider to represent insects & arachnids as a whole? It made you wonder just why they were keeping something like this from the fans until just now, because this figure looks SWEET. His tall, inhuman face, insectoid wings, and green body all set him apart from the other Beasts in the line, and he has tons of scale-like details (mostly on his inner thighs and on his wings), cross-hatching all over the place. He has bumps on his head, segmented antennae, big blue eyes, and a mouth with a lot of segments in it as well. He even has the chewing implements known to grasshoppers, hanging onto his chest.

 

His wings are quite detailed, with two longer, narrower wings pointing diagonally upward, and broader ones below them, extending from shoulder to waist. They all have a "checkerboard/cross-hatching" pattern etched onto them.

 

Colors: Five. His base color is a very dark, plant-like green. His armor is a dark blue, while his eyes appear to be a brighter shade. His mouth structure is bright yellow, and his armor has some red bits on the upper chest and codpiece.

Armor: Kickback has a pretty normal set of armor, with the sides of his body exposed around the Chest Marble, and two rows of red dots near his shoulders, and one on the groin. His shoulder pads have three little spikes running along the length, and his wrist-guards are very blocky, with a few "tiers" (raised edges and square bits at the front). His backbending legs give way to large blue boots that splay out with two toes in front.

 

Weapon: His silver gun looks like a standard gun, but it has the distinctive crooked grasshopper leg just behind the handle, and an insectoid head just in front of that.

Hands & Feet: What looks to be two "hooked" hands, without thumbs.

Easily-Broken Bits: The antenna look like they'd NEVER hold up to extended play, and the wings are very flat and fragile, too.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 9/10 (one of the best and most-detailed. A great "bragging rights" toy)

 

 

[Jabroniville]

 

#107: FLYING DRAGON

 

Animal Basis:

 

-The name's a pretty big giveaway here- he's clearly a Dragonfly. Dragonflies are known for their long bodies and wings, and huge rounded heads with large eyes. Dragonflies are truly ancient, and famously the largest insect ever discovered was Meganeura, a three-foot-long huge specimen from the age of the dinosaurs. They appear on every continent but Antarctica, and are known to kill hundreds of mosquitos a day, making them an important natural control animal. They and damselflies are in the same group, though Dragonflies are much larger and more agile, being able to fly in multiple directions without changing position, and even crossing oceans! Dragonflies are exceptionally skilled hunters, having been observed catching 95% of the insects they pursue- their flight (22-34 mph!), incredible vision, and ability to anticipate the direction prey will move, makes them elites.

 

Dragonflies spend most of their lives underwater as nymphs, emerging to shed their final skin, at which point they become great fliers. They were distrusted in Europe, but loved in Japan, and modern times has seen them respected for their beauty and for their genocidal activities towards hated mosquitos.

 

Toy Description: Another one of the best Beasts ever- a very detailed LB that fits Kickback in the "Insect-Based Beasts" part of the line. Here, he has a very distinctive dragonfly-like face, with huge compound eyes taking up the majority of his head, with a two-segmented face leading to two three-segmented mandibles. It makes him look VERY unique in a line of small-eyed tough-guys. He also has a set of four wings, connected at the edges and featuring a "wireframe" look.

 

The "Brown on Brown" color scheme works very well, preventing this very detailed figure from looking overly garish. His wings and claw-hand give him a great silhouette, and he's altogether one of my favorite-looking Beasts. Expect him to run you a small fortune on eBay or something.

 

Colors: Five. His base color is a creamy "caramel" brown, and his armor a dark brown. His eyes are dark blue, and his armor has red bits on it. His Marble Rim and Weird Hand are both yellow.

Armor: The armor looks pretty good, and quite rounded. The Chest Marble is surrounded by yellow, with two L-shaped red bits of circuits above them. The shoudler pads are very round, with little holes in them, and pointy "limbs" sticking out from the tops, angled upwards. The wrist guards are very slender and rounded, with lines going through the middle. The boots are organic-looking, with lines running down both sides of the front, rounded kneepads, and what looks like splayed-out toes at the feet.

 

Weapon: A silver gun with Mothra-like wings on the side, and a large "compound eye" above those.

Hands & Feet: A plain "mitten" hand, but his left arm ends in a small, round hinge, with two symmetrical claws, looking like a mechanical pincer.

Easily-Broken Bits: Two teeny things on the shoulders.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 10/10 (one of my favorites)

Edited by Jabroniville, 23 September 2019 - 03:41 PM.

[Jabroniville]

 

#95: HUSTLEBEAR

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-Hustlebear is probably a black bear of some kind, judging by his dark hue, but he only barely looks like a bear at all, with his short muzzle and regular-looking body type. The Black Bear is an iconic medium-sized Bear, yet is still bigger than almost any other land carnivore. The American variety can weigh over 600 pounds, and is much larger than the Asian variant (a slim & svelte 440 lbs.). Despite their size and natural weapons, they're far more likely to eat plants or garbage, and 95% of their diet is fruit & leaf-based. Few other animals would screw with them, though- only a Cougar would dare in it's natural range, and they can and will cause human fatalities if cornered- they have caused sixty human fatalities over the last century. They come in many colours, though most common is the straight-up black coat. Others are brown to the point of looking like Grizzlies (they're distinct by being much slimmer and more narrow overall), and British Columbia even has the Kermode, or Spirit Bear, with its bizarre almost-white coat.

 

Toy Description: Sporting easily the greatest name in the entire line (you could disagree, but you'd be wrong), Hustlebear is apparently one of the two faction leaders in whatever backstory this line has. He's a really cool figure, sporting a "weird hand", slender frame, serious expression, and the most unique armor color I think I've seen- this INCREDIBLY dark, glossy red/purple color (burgundy-ish?) with bright highlights. It plays off really well against his dark grey base coloring. He has a furrowed brow, a short snout, a detailed nose, and a pronounced serious expression from the looks of things. The armor's "Shoulder-fins" are cool, too. Really good job, despite "repeating"- he looks a lot better than the Battle Beasts' brown bear representative.

 

Colors: Four. His base color is a very dark grey, and his armor is a dark, glossy purple/red color. His Secondary Color is light pastel blue, and his eyes are red.

Armor: Hustlebear has a terrific suit of armor, featuring a lot of little tiny details. The chest is raised near his Chest Marble, featuring some raised bits just above it, and little "notches" around his neckline. There's an "inner lining" of a light pastel blue around the neckline, as well. His shoulder pads look very cool, featuring a squared appearance, with three smaller boxy bits "fanning down" from the larger, top one, getting smaller as you go. There's a blue rectangle on front, and one on the top of each pad, as well. His wrist-guards are well-detailed, with a "band" etched into the middles of these very barrel-shaped guards (bulging in the middle), half-spheres placed on the fronts with two circles etched into them, and tiny "fins" at the top of each guard. His kneepads are extremely detailed, featuring what look like "Bear paws" sticking out, ending in there points. The rest of the boots are quite plain and rounded.

 

Weapon: A silver gun with more shapes "fanning down", sort of looking like the claws of a bear.

Hands & Feet: A hand with fingers and "nails" etched into it (rare for the LBs, who typically just have "mitten" hands), and a "weird hand" looking very much like a splayed-out bear claw- ending in points and having the fingers separated.

Easily-Broken Bits: The pastel blue probably wears off easily, and the tiny fingers of his weird hand might get damaged.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 9/10 (I was gonna go "8" until I saw all the cool details, and just how rich his color scheme is. Very well done!)

Edited by Jabroniville, 11 October 2019 - 01:11 AM.

[Jabroniville]

 

#98: PUZZLECOLOR

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-Puzzlecolor shares an animal type with the Battle Beast Chameleon, but is more recognizable as a Jackson's Chameleon, famous for the Triceratops-like triple horns that appear on the males. These horns are used for fighting with other males, which is why so many paleontologists suggested the same use for the Ceratopsian horns in dinosaurs. The animals are usually bright green, but can change color depending on mood, health, and temperature. Jackson's Chameleons hail from East Africa, but have been introduced to Hawaii, Florida & California, owing to their popularity in the pet trade as the most visually impressive of the chameleon family. These chameleons typically live from 5-10 years old, and are 6-15 inches long.

 

Toy Description: Puzzlecolor is one of many LBs that duplicate a BB's species, but it does so in spectacular fashion, becoming one of the most detailed creatures in the line. Here, the typical scaled "Chameleon Head" gains the triple horns- a large central nose horn sticking straight out, and two smaller forehead horns, poking out above the eyes- all three have three segments apiece. He has the classic "Beast Reptile" face- an unemotive frown with big, round eyes. His colors are bright, yet simple, showcasing his bizarre head and bumpy skin- it appears covered with round bumps all the way through, this his lips are lined with longer ridges. Even his armor mimics his horns, and his Chest Marble is surrounded by the strangest set-up in the line. They even gave him weird, chameleon-like hands! A truly amazing toy.

 

Colors: Five. His base color is bright green, while his armor is dark blue. His eyes and Secondary Color are red, while his Chest Marble is surrounded by yellow. His horns are bone-white.

Armor: Puzzlecolor's armor is very distinct, actually, featuring a yellow surrounding for his Chest Marble that really stands out- the right shoulder features a large strap with two red lines on it, and the left has two corded wires leading to the shoulder pad.At the bottom is three tiers of lines. The rest of the torso is plain, but the shoulder pads have circles with shuriken-like designs on the fronts, and dual-horns poking out from the tops. His wrist-pads are rather small, but with tons of wires & notches in them. His kneepads actually mimic the triple-horn, with three tiny nubs in a triangle pattern sticking out of rounded pads- the rest of the boot is rather flat, but projects out a bit.

 

Weapon: A silver gun with a chameleon's head hidden in the middle (the flat mouth and rounded eyes are visible), as well as a "drill"-shaped horn above the forehead.

Hands & Feet: His hands are chameleon-like, lacking a "finger & thumb" set-up and being more equivalent to the dual-grasping fingers of chameleons, where there are two "thumbs"- his hands are thus symmetrical, both fingers on each side with nails.

Easily-Broken Bits: The horns on the head AND armor probably weathered quite a bit.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 9.5/10 (one of the best and most detailed overall!)

 

 

[Jabroniville]

 

#100: SCOPE COUGAR

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-Gotta love the Cougar, the second-largest cat in the Americas. It's range is unbelievably huge, giving it the most names of any single animal (40 in English alone), as nearly every culture than encountered the cat gave it some sort of new name. The Puma, the Cougar, the Mountain Lion, it's all good. They're rarely larger than most average people, but are amazingly talented hunters regardless, taking down huge prey that no human would EVER dare tackle alone. I've seen clips of one of these buggers hunting a Moose, just barrelling out of the underbrush and RAMMING a Moose at full-speed, taking it clean off its feet, something I can't imagine a human being accomplishing. It's one of those little reminders that even the animals at our size level are much stronger and more athletic than we are. It's also one of the very few large cats (though it's not an official "Big Cat" since it cannot roar and is closely related to smaller cats) that is rated as "Least Concern" regarding most of its populated range (some areas still have VERY rare sightings).

 

-Cougars can be rather notorious in North America- I have friends who work in the more wild areas of Alberta, and they say that despite NEVER having seen one, they know they've probably been stalked by one once or twice (apparently almost all outdoor workers have been followed/stalked at LEAST once). Their stealth means that they can follow and hunt just about anything without being seen. Given that their population remains pretty strong, and that human habitations are encroaching upon their habitat... you've got a problem. Few cats have the opportunity to walk through such large cities, making them a TREMENDOUS potential danger for people, especially small children (Cougars, like most predators, will target kids and women first- but any adult that bends over and thus looks smaller is a target)- there are a handful of predatory Cougar-related deaths each year, and they're probably going to get worse- even HUNTING something like this is difficult, despite their tendency to "tree" themselves when threatened (making them easy targets for rifles).

 

-I think Cougars are very under-represented in the media, though this is largely because it's both much smaller than the Big Cats, and it's coat is nowhere near as awesome. But for a D&D campaign or a super-hero sidekick, I think these would be awesome animal allies. Not so exotic as to be totally bizarre in North American cities, but dangerous enough that it can knock around a dozen thugs.

 

Toy Description: Scope Cougar represents yet another cat in the Battle Beast line, but they worked to make this one stand out- he's one of very few Beasts with stuff over his eye- that level of armor/cybernetics tends not to be that prevalent. The laser-sighting reminds me of Malcolm, one of Bishop's disposable buddies in The Uncanny X-Men. His color scheme is a bit odd, though, with dark blue and yellow contrasting each other on a plain tan base color. And then there's his upper body being blocky and his lower body being rounded. I like the facial detailing, though- it really marks him as a predatory large cat, thanks to the ears being rather small, and the muzzle not being overly colorful or "cute". It's short, with a detailed nose and three "whisker holes" etched in, and his eyebrows are quite furrowed, with a central line dividing his head.

 

Colors: SIX- actually tied for the most in the line (there's three now, I guess- I thought there was only one, lol). His base color is that tan that's fairly common in the line, with a white muzzle. One eye is red, and the other has a green lens. And then his armor is a dark blue, with a dark yellow as a secondary color.

Armor: Scope Cougar has a very blocky set of blue armor, with large shoulder pads squared off with an extra raised line around it. The fronts of the shoulder pads have pentagonal shapes etched into them, too. His wristguards are blocky, with three circles on the fronts and raised lines on the outside. His armor has two blocky yellow shapes above the Chest Marble, with one sporting an etched rectangle with two circles in it, and the other having a large raised dome with two little circles beside it. He also has an eyepiece coming from the right one, leading up past his eye and sporting a green "lense" rimmed by a border. His codpiece is very blocky, with a yellow square right on the crotch. His boots are oddly rounded, though hexagon shapes are raised on the kneepads- just rounded and rimmed by borders. The rest of the boots are rather smooth, bulging out before raising in above the feet.

 

Weapon: A silver gun with a cat's head right near the pack- pointy teeth facing each other and a very long rifle tip sticking out.

Hands & Feet: Plain "mitten" hands.

Easily-Broken Bits: Probably a lot of paint wear on the yellow bits, and the muzzle.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 7.5/10 (I like the face, but the armor is iffy)

[ZebraLegion]

Love the picture of another common type of "Cougar" 

 

I love seeing these posts still and look forward to them.  

 

Keep it up!

[Jabroniville]

Love the picture of another common type of "Cougar" 

 

I love seeing these posts still and look forward to them.  

 

Keep it up!

Thanks- I'm glad you're still reading .

And yeah, I just had to. I did a similar thing on an old thread of mine writing up animals for an RPG, and someone went back and plotzed when they saw it .

I'm happy to keep these going, though I keep forgetting to update it at times. Granted there's only like 10 left. 

[Jabroniville]

 

#94: KILLER HOUND

 

Animal Basis:

 

 

-Killer Hound doesn't look much like most of the "Hound" breeds, but is likely based off of an Ibizan Hound, an ancient breed whose colors are somewhat matched by this toy. Ibizans are slender and graceful- greyhound-like, with long muzzles and large, upright ears. They are famed "escapologists", owing to their tremendous leaping ability, and are known to be well-disciplined and hardy. It's also thought that they are descended from the "tesem", ancient Egyptian hunting dogs. Similarly-designed dogs appear on Pharonic tombs.

 

Toy Description: Killer Hound has a great concept, and fantastic armor colors, but I think his face looks rather dumb. For startes, it's hard to tell what he's supposed to be- this dude could be "Killer Llama" for all I know based off of that face. His long nose, frowny face, low-set eyes and generic ears (kinda rounded and flat) could be almost anything. His really long neck is strange, as is the fact that it's colored differently from the rest of him. But I really like the blue & yellow armor.

 

Colors: Five or six. His body is light brown, with a beige muzzle and red eyes. His armor is dark tuquoise, with yellow secondary bits, and he has an odd "patch" on his neck that's also yellow, and may be the same shade as the armor's yellow, but different because it's on the brown instead of blue. It's hard to tell.

Armor: Killer Hound has very rounded armor- his chest even has an indent around the Chest Marble, making it more prominent. Two yellow trapezoids are next to the marble, while his shoulders have long, flat yellow bits, with raised guns/lights on them. His shoulder pads are round, with spikes pointing downwards and two circles on the front of each one. His wristguards are rounded with some notches on them, and prominent spikes on all four sides of the wrists. The codpiece is under-detailed (just a few lines), and his boots are round, with oval kneepads and bulging boots with lots of lines and pairs of circles on them.

 

Weapon: A silver gun with a long hound's head sticking out right above the shaft of the weapon. It has a pointed nose and lil' ears.

Hands & Feet: Plain "mitten" hands.

Easily-Broken Bits: The yellow paint probably shows bad paint wear after a point.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 5/10 (great armor, meh face)

 

 

[Jabroniville]

 

#95: DRAGON SEAHORN

 

Animal Basis:

 

A close-up of the narwhal's tusk location, and a twin-tusked female.

 

-This one's rather obvious, as there's literally only one animal like this anywhere in the world- Dragon Seahorn is a Narwhal, an Arctic whale species famous for its single elongated tusk, sticking out through the front. Looking at the Narwhal, it's not hard to see how people could mistake their tusks for the horns of some magnificent land-creature. Of course, finding these horns are probably what led to the Unicorn myth in the first place, as charlatans would sell them to naiive rich folk, who would buy them up and use them to neutralize poison and things like that (it was belieived that placing any liquid in a unicorn's horn would render any poison safe to drink).

 

-Narwhals are medium-sized Toothed Whales, living in extremely cold Arctic Waters, and duel each other for mating rights using their large tusks, which are really just bizarre teeth that have grown straight out. This is typically only found in males, and only one tooth grows out that way... except when it doesn't. See, there's variants all over the place, and many examples of females with tusks, males with TWO tusks, and even one case of a FEMALE with two tusks! But for the most part it's just males pushing and prodding each other with these iconic horns.

 

-Narwhals arer most closely related to Belugas, being the only two remaining members of their families. They typically eat cod, shrimp and molluscs. Predators include polar bears, Greenland sharks and of course, Killer Whales, which will basically hunt and kill anything.

 

Toy Description: Among the most curious exemptions from the Battle Beast line were the whale family- neither toothed nor baleen whales were included, despite three dogs, multiple cats, tons of birds, and many, MANY ungulates making up the 76-animal line. Given that such iconic creatures as the dolphin, orca, blue whale and humpback whale were in that group, it was a little weird. But Dragon Seahorn definitely acts as a worthy first shot at it- he's one of the coolest Laser Beasts to me.

 

-The figure is fairly robust in size, with broad shoulders and very rounded armor- you can tell what he is by a long nose horn that appears to have three sections (ie. two dividing lines in the tusk), located just above the long slit-mouth. The color scheme is very nice (grey & green- not flashy, because the animal itself is unique enough not to need it), and I love the armor- lots of rounded bits, swooping lines, and even NARWHAL HORNS on the toes!

 

Colors: Four. His skin is dark grey, and his eyes & secondary color are red. His tusk is bone-colored, and his armor is a light green.

Armor: Dragon Seahorn has some rearlly cool armor, detailed in places and not TOO detailed in others- too many Beasts kind of go too far one way or the other. Here, his armor is always very "rounded", but typically doesn't have too many circuits or unnecessary lines going about. His torso armor is almost completely plain, for example, being a rounded chest piece with threre red circles assembled vertically at the shoulders. His codpiece has a large vented bit on the crotch, with some lines on the "belt". His shoulder pads are round, with little hooked spikes at the top edges, and a pair of rounded domes on the fronts- these domes have central holes and four "notches" surrounding them. His wrist-guards are plain, except for these odd long, swooping lines in a "swoosh" visible from the front, with raised blocks near the wrist. His kneepads are actually the most detailed parts of the armor, with odd raised "rings" surrounding the kneepad, with lots of lines underneath them. The boots themselves have some lines drawn on them, rounded domes at the sides, swooping angle lines on the sides of the shoes (with indented squares in them), and ending with four-segmented "Narwhal Horns" pointing right off of the toe! Completely unique and very interesting. 

 

Weapon: A silver gun shaped like a giant narwhal, with the barrel being a long, spiraled "tusk".

Hands & Feet: Plain "mitten" hands.

Easily-Broken Bits: The horn probably loses a TON of paint if you played with it even a little bit.

 

Do I Have One?: Nope. 

 

Overall Score: 9/10 (one of the best in the line)

Edited by Jabroniville, 15 December 2019 - 05:41 AM.