AKIA Joke Corner
#3 Guest_General Veers_*
Posted 31 March 2003 - 06:33 PM
#4
Posted 01 April 2003 - 12:31 AM
The first man said to the geinie" I want to be in a room filled with beautiful women. "GRANTED!"replied the geinie, and in a puff of smoke he was gone.
The second man said to the geinie"I want to be in a room filled with bottles of wine."GRANTED!"replied the geinie, and in a puff of smoke he was gone.
The third man said to the geinie" I want to be in a room filled with fine cuban cigars."GRANTED!"replied the geinie, and in a puff of smoke he was gone.
1000 years past and the geinie decided to see how the three men were doing.
He asked the first man"Did you enjoy your wish?" "OF COURSE I DID!" said the first man, "I was in a room filled with beautiful women, who would'nt enjoy that!" "Good, I am pleased" said the geinie.
He asked the second man"Did you enjoy your wish?"I luhved iht, thaht wahs great *hic* said the second man. "I LOOVE YOU GEINE MAN!" "Good, I am pleased" said the geinie.
He then asked the third man" Well did you enjoy your wish, how were the cigars?" The third man then replied.........I don't know,I did'nt have a lighter.
#5
Posted 01 April 2003 - 05:13 PM
Congratulations! Taxes, titles, licenses, and fees, not included.
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#6
Posted 02 April 2003 - 04:28 AM
The bartender looks at him and says," Hey, you have a huge steering wheel stuck to the front of your pants!"
The pirate responds," Arrrr, I know, and it's drivin' me nuts!"
(the sound of crickets chirping)
#7
Posted 02 April 2003 - 07:10 AM
A baby seal walks into a club............
#8
Posted 02 April 2003 - 08:38 AM
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that was way better then the joke ha ha ha ha h a ha a ha ha ha well heres minea preist a rabbi and a monk walk in to a bar the bartender pulls out a shotgun says I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE shots the preist rabbi and monk then himself then a blone a brunete and a redhead walk in and say is this a joke??????sound of crickets chirping
i know its a sad joke and it sucks arse
#9
Posted 02 April 2003 - 09:15 AM
I uh, don't get it.a preist a rabbi and a monk walk in to a bar the bartender pulls out a shotgun says I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE shots the preist rabbi and monk then himself then a blone a brunete and a redhead walk in and say is this a joke??????
By the way, SOME punctuation is helpful. You don't have to write like a 6th grade English teacher, but using capitals, commas and periods, help to convey your message better.
#11
Posted 02 April 2003 - 10:07 AM
sorryby the way, SOME punctuation is helpful. You don't have to write like a 6th grade English teacher, but using capitals, commas and periods, help to convey your message better.
#12 Guest_General Veers_*
Posted 02 April 2003 - 10:35 AM
Now THAT was funny.sorryby the way, SOME punctuation is helpful. You don't have to write like a 6th grade English teacher, but using capitals, commas and periods, help to convey your message better.
#13
Posted 02 April 2003 - 10:59 AM
A baby seal walks into a club............
Why thats great. Especially if your an Eskimo Bob fan. Now this is funny and its a true comercial. You know depends, well they have "re-ajdstable underwear". I cant get over that name. Re-adjustable underwear. Damn so a diaper is sooo not P.C. now.whats this world coming to?
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#14
Posted 02 April 2003 - 11:27 AM
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i took that as meen but it might not benow THAT was funny.
#15
Posted 02 April 2003 - 04:51 PM
News in PHYSICS - New Element discovered
A major research institution recently announced the discovery
of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element
tentatively has been named "Corporatium". Corporatium has 1
neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called peons. Since Corporatium has no electrons, it
is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Corporatium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Corporatium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not
decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and
assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Corporatium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads
some scientists to speculate that Corporatium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass."
You will know it when you see it...
Congratulations! Taxes, titles, licenses, and fees, not included.
My Live Journal. Because obviously you need to know how my day went. How's yours?
#16
Posted 03 April 2003 - 02:59 PM
-mimoman
#17
Posted 03 April 2003 - 07:36 PM
*rimshot*
(not to be confusd with "rimjob")
Petition to Get Generation 1 to USA
What I'm selling on Ebay
#19
Posted 03 April 2003 - 08:00 PM
get it? like a metal bar? uhm.. yeah..... nevermind
Petition to Get Generation 1 to USA
What I'm selling on Ebay
#20
Posted 04 April 2003 - 01:31 AM
They superglued doorknobs to the walls.......
#21
Posted 04 April 2003 - 06:31 AM
the rabbi says, "out of what?"
#22
Posted 04 April 2003 - 06:35 AM
you'd run away too, if your name was "nyuuuh!"
(you have to make the most pinheaded face you can while saying the punchline...)
#23
Posted 05 April 2003 - 08:36 AM
As Claude took the stage, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotise each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique watch from his pocket. "I want each of you to keep an eye on this watch. It's a very special watch. It has been in my family for 6 generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off it's polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
crap! said the hypnotist
It took 3 weeks to clean up the theater.
I was banned! Read ALL about it! http://www.littlerub...showtopic=23333
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#24
Posted 05 April 2003 - 11:31 AM
And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.
#25
Posted 06 April 2003 - 06:45 PM
Noooo!
I feel like the dyslexic that sold his soul to Santa.
And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.