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Battle Beasts- Full Descriptions & Notes


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#176 Jabroniville

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Posted 24 February 2019 - 09:27 PM

83GroundWolf1a.jpg
 
#83: GROUND WOLF
 
Animal Basis: 
 

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-The common Wolf is among the most famous predators of all, legendary in myth as a figure of pure evil or terror, since the early days when they actually preyed upon humans. Fears about them in Europe led to massive culls, and they suffered similar fates all over the world. However, their history is linked forever to us, as large groups of them slowly adapted to meet the needs of the nearby humans, and became the common canine, one of the most important animals relative to humans that ever lived (among the cow, rat/mouse, chicken and horse).
-Countless films and shows have been about wolves or dogs (Balto, White Fang, Mowgli in the Jungle Book was raised by them, etc.), and they fit perfectly into any campaign. A few old-school Golden Age heroes had dogs for sidekicks, but that's seen as kind of goofy these days. It COULD work if you made it a bad-ass wolf or Rottweiler these days, though. Their packs make great temporary threats or something to throw against a villain or two. 
 
Toy Description: Man, this is one ugly Beast. Like, you had a WOLF- the most legendary of European predators, and you make him look like a silly muppet? So disappointing. He's like the worst combination of Beast features: a plain color scheme (Brown/Blue), hunchbacked, and with a REALLY goofy face. 
 
Ground Wolf is of fairly solid height for a Beast, and has some color variation, but he's altogether quite plain. You can tell he's a doglike creature because of the muzzle, but it's VERY pronounced, to the point of looking kind of silly. His snout is so long and flat it looks crocodilian, and has odd ridges on it- two rows of four bumps each, resembling corn on the cob. He's got a long, detailed mouth full of pointy teeth, too. His ears are rather pointy like a wild dog's (floppy ears arer a sign of domestication). 
 
With a kind of silly head and a weird posture (his head is sunk WAY down past his shoulders; made more prominent by his huge shoulder things), he's one of the weaker Beasts in either line, in my opinion. His only real benefit is having a lot of detail, and the odd fact that he's totally assymetrical- his shoulderpads, wrist-guards and boots are all different from the other side. Mine has an "83B" on his left boot, along with the peg-hole. His other foot has the copywrite information.
 
Colors: Five. His body is primarily a grey/blue color, sort of resembling tan (it looks close to an actual dog's coloring), with a light brown on the top of his head (the top of the snout, his nose, and the outsides of his ears. His armor is a dark, glossy blue, with red Secondary Colors. His eyes are yellow.
Armor: Ground Wolf's armor is actually a bit complex, though it's a dark color so it's harder to see. His head is sunken way down into the upper armor, with two large slabs beside his head, ending in a red triangle, and two little red circles (looking like gun nozzles) below them. His entire codpiece from the front is a giant red crotch that's bisected down the middle, with two bits off to the sides- the rest is "ribbed" and dark blue, going around to the back, which isn't that detailed. His shoulder-things are quite blocky and have a lot of square cut-outs on the back.
 
Unusually, however, his extra bits are assymetrical- unusual for this line. His right shoulder-pad is pointed on the outside and has some rectangles encircling it, while the other is more fitted and tight, with a lot of "ribbing" on it, along with some circles posted on. His right wrist-guard is an under-detailed block with a very large, curved "slab" on the outside, with a rectangle in the middle and a big swooping part of it pointing outwards. His left wrist-guard is more fitted and round, ribbed on the entire outside, with a circle and four squares on the front & back. His boots are identical except for the kneepads- the right is blocky, with a rectangular kneepad, and the left is round with a circle on top of it. The rest of the boots swoop inwards from the front, have two projections on each side, and a very big, splayed out boot with a rim around it. The backs of the boots are completely plain, save for a little "slot" at the very bottom of each one.
 
Weapon: His gun actually looks like it has a flat wolf's head in the middle, complete with a mouthful of jagged teeth.
Hands & Feet: Very bland "mitten" hands.
Easily-Broken Bits: A light gray body (his plastic is that color) with a VERY dark set of armor is bound to have a lot of noticeable paint wear.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- got him at the local Antique Mall- like another one, he has a shattered marble. It actually has a cool effect, with a pronounced fracture to one side and multiple lines spreading outwards.
 
Overall Score: 3.5/10 (A truly hideous, poorly-designed figure at first glance, but with a handful of impressive details if you look closely. I can't give him a good mark, though)
 

 


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#177 Rubberhammer

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Posted 25 February 2019 - 07:49 AM

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears may be stronger, but the Wolf will not perform at the circus.
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#178 Jabroniville

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Posted 27 February 2019 - 10:13 PM

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears may be stronger, but the Wolf will not perform at the circus.

They're a royal pain in the butt to train, as well. While they can be made into "pets", wolves will never stop challenging their "master", and are enormously more dangerous and ornery than any domestic dog. They are VERY far removed from dogs, no matter what their DNA says.


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#179 Jabroniville

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Posted 02 March 2019 - 07:30 PM

80Anarchy1a.jpg
 
#80: ANARCHY
 
Animal Basis: 
 
ScalopusAquaticus.jpg
 
-Anarchy, like Miner Mole, is some form of mole. The exact species is pretty hard to determine, but this one isn't purple. His brown fur and tan nose resemble an Eastern Mole, but really, most moles kinda look like that, though are more alien and odd (with tiny eyes).
 
Toy Description: Anarchy is one of the best-looking Laser Beasts, in my opinion, in that he has an interesting color scheme (bright red with brown), a simple but unique silhouette, and a bulky body that actually makes him look impressive. Though he copies the BB Mole's species, he has enough different things about him, and a lot of little details that are quite cool. You could have slotted this guy into the BB line easily.
 
Anarchy (no idea why he doesn't get an animal-themed name) is very broad for a Beast, and only a little shorter than some like the Rhino. His brown fur is detailed with a lot of straight lines all over his body, and his muzzle ends in a little nose and mouth. His armor is the most distinctive, with large cylinders on his shoulders and a giant drill for a Weird Hand. Five colors in all, tied for the most in the line, with a lot placed around his face- it "pops" more than most multicolored Beasts because of this.
 
An "80B" and a peg-hook are on the left foot of mine, and the copywrite information is on his left.
 
Colors: Five. His body is a plain mid-level brown color, with a tan muzzle. His armor is a very bright red, with blue frames in his visor, and a little yellow forehead bit.
Armor: Anarchy sports a very wide frame and a simple torso, with fairly little details on that part. His front has projected "suspenders" but largely big chunks of flat material, with little vents on his back. The shoulder pads are much more interesting, however, with very big rounded pads decked out with twin lines all over, and a projected "shelf" sticking out from the sides. A smaller, "inner pad" is underneath each large pad. On top of each are very long cylinders leading front and back, actually longer than the pads themselves are. His wrist guard is very square-ish, with no detail on the outside, but lots of little squares and lines on every other side- it's not symmetrical, as the inside has a block leading towards the wrist.
 
And his left arm is very different- a large, rounded wrist guard has a block on one end, and long wires running up the front and back sides. It ends in a drill, consisting of a blunt-nosed point sticking out of a cylinder, sticking out of a larger, three-ringed cylinder. His boots are extremely detailed, with countless blocks and squares sticking out all over the place. His knees stick out noticeably far, the sides of the boots have very large blocks, and the front of the boots have tons of little lines on them. Only the backs are left fairly plain.
 
Weapon: His gun doesn't have a "mole" look to it, but is instead a giant drill, with a swirling line etched into the whole thing, ending in a four-pronged rim and a blunt tip projected outwards. It's one of the bulkier guns, even sporting a big handle on the top.
Hands & Feet: A very bland "mitten" hand, but the aforementioned drill on the other.
Easily-Broken Bits: None, but the muzzle is light paint on brown, so expect lots of wear on the nose.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- there was a bit of an adventure, as I detailed on this site a couple of years ago. I bought him from a seller in South America, and was a bit perturbed to see him not even SHIP IT for two or three weeks. Now, I'm a pretty patient guy, but that's weird. So when I politely asked him if it had shipped yet, he gave me this big story about how his bank was withholding his funds because they didn't know why he was getting all this money from overseas. Then he FINALLY shipped it out, and despite being a tiny package, I got a note to pick it up. And then I went to my local post office, and they pointed out that it was the WRONG ONE- I had to go halfway across the city by bus, then WALK for ten minutes, just to get to the right P.O.! So after more than a month of waiting, I finally had my Anarchy.
 
Humorously, another poster here had the same experience and got the same story. We both decided not to go with the guy again, but on the plus side, I got a pretty good deal- a Laser Beast, his gun, AND a little notification on him with his name and stuff, for only about $40 Canadian. Given that the cost of these is only rising, it was a good deal. And a more fun story than "so I bought him and he shipped quickly", I guess.
 
Overall Score: 9/10 (one of my favorite Beasts, actually- a very eye-popping color, great details, a good silhouette, etc.)

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#180 Exactobeast

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 06:08 AM

Hard to argue with the wolf rating.  I love the mole.  His body is top 5 all time.  The drill though.  Man, I didn't even realize it was a drill.  I painted one up once and it just ended up looking like some kind of pleasure toy. 


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#181 Jabroniville

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Posted 13 March 2019 - 02:05 AM

82Condorassin1a.jpg
 
#82: CONDORASSIN
 
Animal Basis:
 
Sarcoramphus_papa_-National_Zoo_-Washing
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-Condors are the largest flying animals in North America, and the Californian variety is critically endangered, with only about 170 animals left. They are less lethal than most other Birds of Prey, owing to the fact that most of these eat prey that's already DEAD. Heck, I saw one have a heck of a time tearing into a dead bunny at the zoo- it had to open up its prey by the butthole! Unlike all other Birds, its sense of smell is PHENOMENAL, and birds like this are used to detect gas leaks (carrion scent is placed into gas mains, so that the birds centre around any leaks they can detect). Fun fact: their bald heads are to prevent decaying meat from sticking to them when they dive in.
 
Were it a condor, then Condorassin would probably be an ANDEAN Condor, owing to the prominent waddle above his nose. It's not a perfect likeness (condors are completely bald above the neck; this guy has grey feathers on his face), but it's close. But then a close look at the King Vulture (Condors are a variety of New World vulture) reveals the TRUE identity of this beast- not only is the more wrinkled waddle (officially called a "carunkle"- it's folded up skin meant as a signifier of health & virility) noticeable, but it even has the same little flaps underneath the beak that the King Vulture has! And the skin on the back of the head even folds up in the exact same way! Like, somebody REALLY did their research here- the likeness is uncanny!
 
Toy Description: Ugggggghhhhhhhh this one always kind of bothered me, like the Wolf- it's just plain UGLY. I mean, you EXPECT a vulture to be ugly ("Condorassin" is likely a portmanteau of "condor" and "assassin", with "condor" being easier for the Japanese to say than "vulture"- or they just didn't know the difference), but they really didn't do it any favors with the pink fleshy bits and the bright orange & grey look- it's an ugly color scheme. I would think black or red would look much cooler.
 
That said, it's hard to hate on the details. Like I said, I was able to determine not just the variety of animal, but nail the SPECIES because of this guy's facial detailing. It's really impressive. The tiny, ball-shaped head of this guy pokes out of a bend, vulturian neck that's this sickly, fleshy color- VERY thick paint on grey plastic. A notable "bald patch" on the top of his head is the same color. His head is grey and feathered (with a line of feathers going down his back, splitting up the pink neck that way), but with two rounded bits of grey flesh in "hoop" shapes, exactly like those of the King Vulture. His beak is very short and not very intimidating, and it sports a very large, lumpy, pink "waddle"- three peaks of balled-up flesh with a little part sticking out the front. His neck sprouts out of a "nest" of long grey feathers, just like most depictions of a vulture. His arms and legs are completely undetailed, but he has wings, like so many bird-based Battle Beasts. The feathesr are quite blocky and unconvincing on the front (a little too broad and flat- like a honeycomb patterrn), but look legitimate on the back, with increasingly-longer feathers as we go down.
 
Really, this guy is well-detailed, but the sculpt isn't favored by the colors they chose. Though that flesh tone is REALLY gross- it's obviously a mix of paints on mine, so it isn't really just one color, making it look very lifelike, but it's so thick that it looks shiny and ooze-y. Really compliments the gross figure.
 
He's got an "82A" on his left boot, along with the peg-hole, and copywright information on the left.
 
Colors: Five. His body is a plain grey, while his armor is painted a bright orange. His neck, beak and bald patch are all a thick, fleshy pink. His eyes are a dark blue, and his armor has two light green (almost neon) circles on the front.
Armor: Condorassin has a pretty simple set of armor themed around big, swooping shapes. His front has some swooping lines, and his codpiece has a trio of "tiers" following the contours of the armor. On his sides are pouch-looking stretches of raised boxes in a "U-shape", swooping from the Chest Marble to his wings. His shoulder pads arer actually VERY large, featuring long, swooping pointed bits aimed straight down, in a shape resembling a Greek Hoplite's horsehair "mohawk". There's a large indent following the same shape, with a raised line in the middle- where the pad meets the shoulder is a neon green circle, with another circle and a "sprocket" shape around it. His wrist-guards are plain and round, with a stack of four boxy shapes raised on the front, and little "dorsal fins" on the outer edge. 
 
His back is pretty plain, but has a large box with four lines etched into it above the marble-hole, and a really prominent, swooping tail-shape, with five ribbed "feathers" made up on the armor. His boots are actually the most detailed bit, sporting big round kneepads, digitigrade (bent/crooked) feet swooping back and then lunging forward, bit circles at the joints, pointed "heels" aiming backwards, three ribbed lines on the calves, and unusual toes- two in front, one in back- all spiked and mechanical-looking.
 
Weapon: His gun is... odd. It has an odd little face at the end of it, with a mouth that's rather too blunt to be bird-like. Aside from some "wings" etched into the side, it doesn't look very bird-like.
Hands & Feet: Very plain "mitten" hands, with an indent halfway across the top of the fingers.
Easily-Broken Bits: The pink paint appears to be a mixture of some kind, so is inconsistently painted in a way that actually makes it more lifelike. Other than that, some pointy bits would likely experience some wear.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- forget where I bought him from, but I got him. Rather a completionist thing, as I didn't even like the Beast, lol.
 
Overall Score: 5/10 (this is tough- he doesn't display well on the table. He looks more "gross" than cool, and his color scheme sucks. But the facial details impressed me, and I like the consistent "swooping shapes" theme of the armor- going to nearly all of his bits having a curved shape on them. So I really can't fail him)

Edited by Jabroniville, 13 March 2019 - 02:07 AM.

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#182 ZebraLegion

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Posted 13 March 2019 - 04:14 AM

I just got one of these a week or so ago in a big laser lot.  So weird looking.

 

My computer must have some tinting/brightness issue because it always looked to me that the Condorassian looked like a scrunched up old mans face.  The darker portion of the head where the eyes are never jumped out to me.

 

I totally agree that is a gross figure, but I appreciate it so much more having it in hand.

 

I'm glad these continued!  Still look forward to reading and getting some interesting info!!  The sloth pooping once a week and being most vulnerable at that time is still my favorite.  I also like the bit about having a bald head to decaying meat doesn't stick to it. 

 

Keep it up!


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#183 Rubberhammer

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Posted 13 March 2019 - 12:42 PM

As a kid we always called this guy the Turkey Buzzard, as that is the way the old timers around here refer to all the vultures.

Going for the butthole to gain access to the internals is common, as it is the easiest access to the internals, although from what I have witnessed they usually eat the eyes first and then go to the other end.
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#184 Jabroniville

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Posted 17 March 2019 - 05:36 AM

Glad you guys like that I'm continuing :). And that people dig the random animal tidbits- I'll try to come up with more of them!


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#185 Jabroniville

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Posted 18 March 2019 - 10:04 PM

078.jpg
 
#78: SPARK SHARK
 
Animal Basis: 
 
Sketchbook_of_fishes_-_25._%28Longnose%2
1280px-Pristiophorus_japonicus_2.jpg
 
-I actually figured this guy for a Sawfish ever since I saw him, but on closer inspection, he is definitely NOT. He is, in fact, a SAWSHARK. While Sawfish are rays that look almost exactly like sharks, they sport gills on their undersides, and plain upper bodies. Spark Shark possesses gills on the TOP half of his head, and sports the distinctive, catfish-like barbels at the sides of the rostrum like a sawshark does. Closer research reveals that there is a Japanese Sawshark living in the Sea of Japan that would likely be known to Japanese developers as well. The barbels on this guy are small, but you can definitely make them out.
 
Sawsharks are a very small variety of shark, and they sport extended rostrums (the bill/nose thing) with numerous sharp teeth sticking out at the edges, which they use to slash and disable their prey. There are eight different species, the largest of which is about 4'6" long (by contrast, the much more impressive Sawfish can hit up to 26 feet!). Their teeth alternate between large and small, creating a "saw-like" impression. Barbels spring back from the middle of the nose. Much longer than is usual for fish, these barbels are sensory organs that house the taste buds, allowing the creatures to search for fish in murky water. Like most sharks, Sawsharks can detect the electrical fields of their prey.
 
Nearly all varieties of Sawsharks are critically endangered, being used for shark fin soup (a very wasteful way to show off the wealth of the host; it doesn't taste good, but is extremely expensive) and other things typicial of Asian medicine.
 
Toy Description: Spark Shark is one of the cooler aquatic Beasts out there, taking an interesting-looking creature and making a good "big brother" figure to Sawtooth Shark (ironically, not a Sawshark, while this one is). His coloring is terrific, his armor is really bright and eye-popping (with a great red "V" shape), and his nose gives him a distinctive silhouette and look.
 
His body is rather plain, but his armor is great, and his head is TERRIFIC- it's even easy to see what kind of animal he is- I wasn't sure if he was a Sawfish or Sawshark until I saw that they did, in fact, include long barbels- subtle lines that swoop down from the middle of his nose and fold into his armor. Spark Shark has the longest nose in the entire line, I think, sticking out in a triangular fashion, with four bumps on each side indicating the trademark teeth, as well as sporting the typical "tightly-closed mouth" of a smaller shark. There's a lot of wrinkles around his eyes, and even his dorsal fin is well-detailed, sporting six little lines etched into the fin on each side, and a crooked backfin. Three tiny gill slits are behind his eyes (Sawsharks typically have 5-6). 
 
He has a "78A" on his left boot, along with the peg-hole, and the copywrite info on the other foot.
 
Colors: Four. His body is the rich, light brown of the Antelope and a few other Beasts, while his armor is a great dark green that really stands out. His eyes and a "V" on his armor are red, while his Secondary Color (on his boots) is yellow.
Armor: Spark Shark has a very "aquatic"-looking set of armor, with a high collar and a big "V" shape to the torso. Long, swooping lines in a "U" shape are under his arms, going from front to back, creating four distinct ridges. Little trapezoids are lifted out of the corners, while a very large, obvious "V" is created from red- two large diagonal collar pieces surround his head, with large vents in the front and ending in triangular bits leading to his back-hole. The "V" is ended by a little bit at the botom of his Chest Marble. His back-hole has a rectangle in relief just above it.
 
His shoulder pads are almost complete spheres, with raised circles on the front & back, and little paired divots on the sides. His wrist-guards are completely round, with raised circles on the front, and large fins with three lines etched into them, making triangles that swoop a bit upwards. Lines bisect them on front & back. His boots are large and flat, with a lot of organic, round shapes- his kneepads are three large, rounded bits encircling each other (with the central one yellow), with an odd shape pointing down towards the boot, also painted yellow. The boots swing back a bit, almost resembling hooves of a digitigrade creature, and sport some odd shapes on the side, also etched with lines.
 
Weapon: His gun looks pretty typical, but ends with triangular sawblades on the top, and has fish fins on the sides and ends in the shark's tailfin.
Hands & Feet: Very plain "mitten" hands, with an indent halfway across the top of the fingers.
Easily-Broken Bits: None, though I'd imagine well-played-with ones have the noses rubbed flat.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- forget where I bought him from, but I got him.
 
Overall Score: 8.5/10 (A really cool outline, a distinctive face, and one of my favorite bits of armor for a Beast, really. One of the best color schemes of the Laser Beasts)
 

 


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#186 Jabroniville

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Posted 22 March 2019 - 10:20 PM

I'm probably nerding out excessively hard over finding out the exact species of some of these guys, but actually nailing down specific types for both Condorassin and Spark Shark was like, super-exciting for me :). Zariganian, Samu and most of the others are a little more on the nose, unfortunately.


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#187 Jabroniville

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Posted 26 March 2019 - 12:32 AM

77BlueEagle1a.jpg
 
#83: BLUE EAGLE
 
Animal Basis:
 

3469-13BaldEaglePerched-M.jpg
 
-Blue Eagle is clearly some form of Eagle, following the general head-shape of a Golden or Bald Eagle (the coloring implies Bald Eagle). I explained them a bit with Colonel Bird (still not sure what HE is), but I'll re-post it here:
 
-Eagles are frickin' sweet. Golden Eagles? They take stuff the size of human children (and probably COULD take them if they wanted to), and are even used in WOLF HUNTS, running down even apex predators in other animal Orders! And really- how majestic can you get? Giant, super-noble predators with the most dignified expression in history. Suck it, Bald Eagle, the Golden Eagle has it all over you. 
 
-Speaking of elite hunting tactics- check THIS crap out!:
Yes, it's literally grabbing the goats, and then THROWING THEM OFF A CLIFF, to eat the flattened creature at the bottom. That is NASTY. Though I can't find any record of fatalities on behalf of Golden Eagles, that is not for lack of trying.
 
Toy Description: Thankfully, despite being a pretty simple body plan for a Beast, Blue Eagle cuts a very impressive figure. Thanks to his very tall body and small head, he comes off very "strong" (compare him to Colonel Bird, who has a MUCH shorter body and a big fat head to equal this height)- it's a regal posture. His armor is good, his coloring is great (a vaguely-blueish grey with dark brown and blue), and he just looks smart. They did a LOT of work making his feathers look "furry" on his body, too- most of the birds in the line are rather plain and plastick-y as far as their base color goes, but this guy has details going on everywhere but his arms.
 
Actually, just looking at things, I don't think there's a SINGLE BEAST with a head smaller than this one. Triple-Threat Snake, maybe (though he has a huge neck instead). It's just this little itty-bitty thing, making him really stand out from the rest of the line. His wings aren't nearly as long or pointy as many other Beasts, which gives them a stronger look (and keeps them from overwhelming his body)- they're short, ending just above his butt, making them look blocky.
 
There's a "77B" on mine's left boot, along with the peg-hole, and copywrite information on the other one. All in all, a really lovely, simple, clean design.
 
Colors: Four. His body is a very light, blueish-grey color (which is usually called "Blue" in dog & cat show circles). His armor is a rich, dark brown, with eyes and Secondary Coloring that is dark blue. His beak is a bright yellow.
Armor: Blue Eagle has a very strong, V-shaped torso that's wider at the top, with big bits going over his trapezoids, and smaller details cut out beneath his arms. His Chest Marble has two large blue rectangles and two smaller blue rectangles below them, organized diagonally upwards and at his sides. Each rectangle has a smaller "square" etched into their centre. His codpiece is a triangular raised piece with a block cut out of the middle. His back has a little "metal spine" leading down to the hole, with two trapezoids pointing diagonally upwards, with raised triangles pointing in the opposite directions inside THOSE. There's a straight line going across just underneath the hole, too. 
 
His shoulder pads are very pointy, going diagonally upwards with odd shapes- a mix of raised bits and cut-out pieces making the organic shape seem "blocky"- the pads are topped with little squares. The wrist-guards don't have much detail on them, but are raised on the inside and outside edges, with lines in the backs etched with numerous horizontal lines. His boots (and feet, sort of) are very unusual- long, triangle-shaped boots with pieces sticking out for the front toes, and at the sides. Organic shapes at the ankles and really large things sticking out the back just above the knees. Unusually, a big blocky bit is behind each boot, leading up to the upper thigh... but it's painted half-brown and half-grey, as if the block becomes the flesh at some point. It kind of looks like it was painted by template, with nobody making sure the rest of the block was colored in, or mistaking it for part of Eagle's body.
 
Weapon: His gun features an eagle's head coming out underneath the gun tip, with feathers behind it, giving the thing a "This is an eagle with a gun sticking out of its head" look.
Hands & Feet: Very bland "mitten" hands with lines for the thumbs and at the back of the hands.
Easily-Broken Bits: The beak likely provokes weathering, as is common for bird-based Beasts.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- probably purchased online or at the Antique Mall. No gun, though.
 
Overall Score: 8.5/10 (One of the best "Birds" in the line- well-detailed and an impressive, regal figure)

Edited by Jabroniville, 26 March 2019 - 12:33 AM.

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#188 Jabroniville

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Posted 03 April 2019 - 10:19 PM

86RainbowSamu1a.jpg
 
#86: RAINBOW SAMU
 
Animal Basis: 

800px-Ara_macao_-_two_at_Lowry_Park_Zoo.
 
-Parrotts are famous for their ability to mimic human speech, and their brilliant colours. Don't be fooled, however- they are in fact created by Satan to punish mankind with loud screeching and finger-biting. My brother owned a particularly-vicious Meyer's Parrott named Tiki that squawks constantly, and has bitten almost every member of the family. What makes this worse than my sister's equally-insane cat Audrey, is that Audrey is both always-hostile and large enough to be shoved away (and would rather just ignore you anyways). Tiki was calm 96% of the time, which makes his attacks unpredictable. AND, he was too small to really get physical with, leaving his victims helpless without killing my brother's beloved pet. Eventually, he had to give Tiki away to an old lady who adopts parrots, because he was too vicious to my sister-in-law, and would probably bite their upcoming baby. Parrotts are devil-beasts from Hell. End of story.
 
IN ANY CASE, Rainbow Samu is clearly a Scarlet Macaw- the base color, the white around the eyes, and even the blue & yellow feathers on the wings- it's all there. Macaws are a particularly large variety of parrot (the largest of which is the Hyacinth Macaw), and like most, can live a very long time- Macaws can reach 75-90 years of age in captivity! Though usually spotted along, they can occasionally gather in large flocks, with their echoing cries designed to travel for miles. Like many other birds, they are highly-monogamous, mating for life. Scarlet macaws are endangered by both predation, habitat loss, and the pet trade, where scores of them are captured for sale in pet stores. It's considered questionable in terms of ethics to buy them.
 
Toy Description: This is another really incredibly-detailed Beast- one of the most complicated color schemes they over pulled off, and a really neat mix of colors. You wouldn't think that plain "maple walnut ice cream" color for his armor would work so well, but that drab color is actually PERFECT, given how bright the rest of the coloring is. And despite being a fairly small figure, he's got so much detail they even COLORED AROUND HIS EYES- the only white you see on this figure. This actually makes him the only figure I can think of in this ENTIRE LINE that has six colors. SIX! Five is the absolute limit everywhere else. Just amazing.
 
Rainbow Samu is a short figure, but very brightly-colored. His head is unmistakably that of a parrot, complete with the short, curved beak and the little eyes set inside two large flaps of skin. Two tiny nostrils are just behind his beak. The back of his head has a lot of detail, with feathers kind of sticking out backwards. A pair of fairly wide, squat wings are behind him, oddly packing two little raised circles each (mimicking the central raised circle on the back of his armor). The upper portion of the wing is red, with four feathers pointing diagonally downward (following the shape of the wing). Below that is a row of five blue feathers. Below that are four very large yellow feathers, with the top one short, second one long, the third one VERY long, and the final one a fairly short point.
 
His arms have "fur lines" running down the upper arm, and his thighs are bulbous and similarly furry. His ankles are quite thin and round, with the same detailing on them.
 
Figuring out this guy's name took me a while- why "Rainbow Samu"? But then I saw one website call him "Rainbow Sam", and I suddenly realized they might be combining the parrot with Toucan Sam, the mascot of Froot Loops. I mean, a toucan and a parrot are sorta similar. It could be a thing.
 
Colors: SIX- the most in Battle Beast history! His main color is red. His wings are blue and yellow (his eyes are also yellow). His beak is a dark orange. Around his eyes is a rim of white flesh. His armor is a sort of very light, yellowy pastel brown- caramel-colored.
Armor: Rainbow Samu's armor is symmetrical except for a rim around his Chest Marble- it's a pretty simple rounded chest piece that pinches in at the waist, with a simple blocky codpiece. The shoulders sport two long, raised bits. The Chest Marble, however, is surrounded by a rim that ends in an extended bit that points towards his left shoulder- this bit gives the impression of a hand-held magnifying class used in identifying compounds and rocks & stuff- Archaeologists use those. In that little bit is a small circle with four dots inside, and two little triangles cut out at the bottom. The bit ends in an extended piece on one of the shoudler-thingies- the other one has a cut-out bit. His back is very rounded, with a little rectangle sticking out at the top, above the back-hole, with a raised circle on it- it looks like a piece of Lego. There's a little rectangular cut-out on his butt, with three lines in it.
 
His shoulder pads are round and swooped, with two lines going diagonally upwards, ending in three "Feather"-ish shapes that point up. His wrist guards are rounded, with a central line running around it- each has a tiny line etched on the front, and a triangular thing planted onto the side, pointing downwards. This triangle has a smaller elevated triangle on it, and a little square below that. His "boots" are more like shoes, as his ankles are visible- short and long, with pointed, extended toes, an "ankle" piece planted on top of the shoe itself, with three rounded things at the sides, and a ball with a spike pointing directly backwards behind THAT. 
 
Weapon: His gun is somewhat Cockatiel-esque, with the gun bit looking pretty normal, and a bird's crest being on top. Right above one of the handles is a slight beak-shape, which, combined with the crest, resembles a bird's head on the back half of the gun.
Hands & Feet: Very bland "mitten" hands.
Easily-Broken Bits: Very pale coloring on his armor and bright red plastic mean you can see some weathering.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- probably off of eBay.
 
Overall Score: 9/10 (One of the most detailed, colorful Beasts in the line- one of the best-looking birds)
 

 


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#189 ZebraLegion

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Posted 05 April 2019 - 05:05 AM

My favorite Laser Beast I own! Disclaimer: I only have the lower 12.

 

Doesn't hurt that we are both named Sam  :D   The connection to Fruit Loops makes sense to me.

 

This guy is even better in hand. Never thought to count the colors, but very cool that he has the most colors on any beast.  I wonder if any of the later Lasers have six or more???  


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#190 Jabroniville

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Posted 06 April 2019 - 05:16 PM

My favorite Laser Beast I own! Disclaimer: I only have the lower 12.

Doesn't hurt that we are both named Sam :D The connection to Fruit Loops makes sense to me.

This guy is even better in hand. Never thought to count the colors, but very cool that he has the most colors on any beast. I wonder if any of the later Lasers have six or more???


From looking at a list, I doubt it. Hornhead has five, unless I’m misreading his eye color- if it’s different from his muzzle, then he has etc. Otherwise, I’m seeing a bunch of fives, and some fours.
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#191 Jabroniville

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Posted 12 April 2019 - 10:03 PM

84FlySailor1a.jpg
 
#84: FLY SAILOR
 
Animal Basis:
 
hqdefault.jpg
 
-Based off of the "Fly" in his name, and the large projected "Fin Wings" on his shoulders, I'm gonna say Fly Sailor is a Flying Fish. The family Exocoetidae contains 64 differerent species, and inhabits all the world's oceans. They're typified by very long, broad pectoral fins that act as gliding implements, sending the fish sailing above the waves. This is a method evolved to avoid aquatic predators, who have trouble leaping out of the water, especially at such speeds- the peak speed of a Flying Fish is about 70 mph, and they can hit 20 feet vertically and travel for 1,300 feet with a good "head wind" from a wave! 160 feet is more typical for a "regular" leap. Their bodies are optimized for this activity, being very small and narrow, very "stiff" to avoid flexible movements, with very large "wings".
 
Flying fish are preyed upon by birds (who have less of an issue catching an aerial target) and cetaceans. The animals are incredibly important to Barbados, where they are (or were) most-common. They are a national symbol, and declining numbers are a source of great concern.
 
Toy Description: Fly Sailor is one of the coolest-looking of the "First Twelve" Laser Beasts, with a great color scheme (a dark pink-ish red and grey) anda  fantastic design. The figure is large, solid, detailed and colorful. He looks a bit like a "generic fish", but it's kind of hard to reflect a species perfectly with these types of things. He's fairly tall and would be quite slender if not for his finned padding. His arms and legs are mottled with "scales"- the arms have rounded ones, while the legs seem to have overlapping, diagonal scales. His long, fish-like face sticks straight out, with a swooping, rounded forehead, an open mouth (with the upper lip having lines detailed around it), numerous lines around the eyes, and wrinkles following the shape of its eyes going all the way back- two below, two behind, and one really large wrinkle near the back of the head, where the whole skull turns until diagonal scales until they reach the armor.
 
His head is framed by two very tall, distinctive "sail" fins, sticking almost straight up and going diagonally backwards a bit- nine lines are etched into the sides, while the inside edges have seven- this makes them look like fins instead of wings. The fins go "in" a bit on the bottom, connecting to the shoulders, making it look like a real joint instead of just a projection. The armor, designed around being round and "finned", is actually one of the most detailed ones I've ever seen in this line- they throw EVERYTHING onto it.
 
An "84B" is on the left boot of mine, along with the peg-hole. The copywrite information is on the other side.
 
Colors: Three- the least of the Laser Beasts. His body is a plain, light grey. His armor is a very dark, pink-ish red- truly unique in the line. His eyes are the same color, while he has two lights of neon turquoise.
Armor: Fly Sailor has very slender, very detailed armor all throughout. Atop his head is a three-part "head piece" of armor, with a little nub on the front and an angular projection pointing out of the back, pointing diagonally backwards. Connecting this to the armor is a corded wire leading down, though this is not colored red- it's the same grey as the rest of the figure (possibly too difficult to color properly).
 
Around the rim of his Chest Marble is a corded wire going to the underarm region, ending in a block. Above the back-hole is a projected box with two tiny "fins" atop it- if the figure is lying down, these are what touches the ground first and holds up the figure. His codpiece is a very detailed, "scaled" bit going from one end of the Chest Marble to the other- overlapping scales start from the front and end up reaching the back, so the points are facing upwards by the time they hit the rear of the figure.
 
His head is bridged by two very large, curved shapes that swing backwards until the fins project out from them- large curved blocks are beside the head, and lower, raised bits are beside that. The larger bit has a little cut-out with three neon-turqouise lights in it. These projections swing around as large, bulbous shapes around the underarm. The shoulder-pads are very round, with a line bisecting them (going diagonally from the armpit and then going straight up), circles are drawn in on the front and back, beside this line. Two little triangles are cut out on each side of the outer region (on the other side of the bisecting line), and a projected "fin" is sticking out from the edge of the pad, pointing diagonally downwards.
 
The wrist-guards are round, with lines on front and back. A square (in relief) is at the top of each line, with two "U"-shaped relief blocks on one side, and a "circuit-box" thing on the inside wrist (on the other side). The outside has a large "fin"-block on the upper hand, which projects back with a fin that runs the full length of the wrist-guard and points upwards, towards the fin on the shoulder-pad. These large, narrow fins have three lines etched into them on each side.
 
The boots are very bulbous, with lots of rounded bits. The boots themselves are round, with lines going across right under the kneepads. The sides of the boots have REALLY round bulbs sticking out- these bulbs have rounded "jets" sticking out of them, so there are two on each boot. The kneepads are round, with three partial-cutout bits on them- six lines pointing upwards, with the bottom parts "cut out" of the pads, while it slowly rises to a smoother surface on top. The tops of the boots have four cut-out rectangles on them (somewhat resembling the ones on the kneepads, but ending at the rim around the edge). Three more of these rectangles are on the heels.
 
Weapon: His gun looks like a fish with a gun sticking out of its mouth. The very large fins run almost the whole length of the gun, pointing diagonally backwards with three very prominent "lines" cut out of the sides. A forked tail with lines on it is on the back, though the upper fin is longer, unlike most Flying Fish, who have a longer bottom fin.
Hands & Feet: Mitten hands with a line across the top of the fingers.
Easily-Broken Bits: The beak likely provokes weathering, as is common for bird-based Beasts.
 
Do I Have One?: Yep- probably purchased online or at the Antique Mall.
 
Overall Score: 9.5/10 (The more I looked at it, the more I kept FINDING stuff- he's really very detailed and cool-looking)

Edited by Jabroniville, 15 April 2019 - 03:21 AM.

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#192 Exactobeast

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Posted 15 April 2019 - 08:55 AM

SOOOOOO many details in Fly Sailer and really gets the fish face right


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#193 Jabroniville

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Posted 20 April 2019 - 10:05 PM

85Zariganian1a.jpg

 

1280px-Marsupenaeus_japonicus_-_National

1280px-KreeftbijDenOsse.jpg

800px-Blue-lobster-jane.jpg

 

#85: ZARIGANIAN
 
Animal Basis:
 
-Ha-haaaaaaaaaa- well HELL. My whole time looking at this guy, I was thinking he was just a normal lobster. I mean, he's red, he's got giant claws, and he's a shellfish, right? But no- check out the head shape. He has the head of a JAPANESE TIGER PRAWN. You can tell because he's got his eyes set inside the head (lobster eyes are on stalks, up top), the top of his head has little spike ridges, and there are a bunch of little fleshy bits sticking out forward from underneath the hard part of his skull. The distinctive "tiny pincers" of prawn species are seen on the top of this guy's shoulders, too.
 
Well, this is a kicker. I mean, he's so lobster-y. In fact, I'd say they more likely snagged a lobster's distinctive giant claws & tail and then added stuff from the prawns the designers would be more familiar with, as his head is so distinctively "prawn"-like. You can see lobster features such as the spikes along the limbs, the flat tail, and the big claws.
 
Prawns are small crusctaceans (though some reach about a foot in length), typically known for being good eatin' and easier to catch en masse than lobsters. The term "prawn" is generally known to describe any large shrimp (though "giant shrimp" is also common). Like lobsters, these creatures are decapods (which you can expect to beat demigods), so named for their ten limbs. The head and thorax are fused together, with the body flat on the sides. They are easily recognized for their bunches of antennae. The first pair are fairly tiny and split into two tips, while the second pair can be 2-3 times the length of the body, sticking right back and ending in single tips. The thorax has five pairs of walking legs, the first three of which ending in small claws. 
 
They are opportunistic omnivores, and themselves important prey species, being so small. Prawns are positively ancient, the first ones being found dating from 250 million years ago.
 
Lobsters, meanwhile, are among the largest living crustaceans, being a couple of feet long and sporting muscular, broad tails. Once considered "trash food", given to slaves and prisoners because they were hideous and easily caught, people eventually learned that they are the BEST FOOD EVER if prepared properly (most people were eating long-dead lobsters), and so the price skyrocketed and they became a "delicacy". Lobsters are also decapods, but their front limbs are famously ending in very large claws. Their eight walking legs feature six sets with claws.
 
Fun fact: Lobsters are actaully BLUE-GREEN or BROWN, not red. The red coloring is only known for lobsters that have been BOILED, thanks to a type of oil in on their exoskeletons. Any fiction showing red lobsters living under the water is erroneous. THey are typically the same color, but can occasionally turn weird ones- bright blue, cotton-candy blue, white, etc.
 
Toy Description: Zariganian (I can't figure out what his name is supposed to represent) is one of the coolest-looking and most-distinctive Laser Beasts. He is solidly-built, brightly-colored, and has a great silhouette, thanks to his shoulder-claws and giant pincers. The VERY bright pastel blue armor is eye-popping, and goes well with that dark red skin. His head is one of the most-detailed in the line, and his armor has more color detailing than almost anybody's, sporting EIGHT red dots! 
 
Zariganian's head is prawn-like, being triangular and jutting out straight forwards, with a swooping "helmet" shape with four triangular ridges on its top. Beneath this are a pair of round, yellowy eyes, two wrinkles behind each one, and then two pairs of pointed antennae- the top longer than the bottom. All are pointed and segmented, with the upper pair having longer segments at the tips. Underneath is a "mouth" of sorts, which is a bundle of mandibles that don't look like anything, and a pair of large antennae coming from the bottom of the head, tracing along the shoulders and pointing straight back. These segmented antennae end just about where the head does.
 
His limbs have multipled raised dots on them, resembling the lobster's limbs. The arms have two bulbous dots on the sides, and two sets of smaller ones in between those. His legs have more pointed spikes on the front (three each) and back (two each), with uneven dots in between those. His hands are giant lobster claws (each the same size, unlike real lobsters), with a very large main appendange and a smaller joint on the inside- both are "framed" along their jagged edges with lines that trace the serrations. Four large ridges are along the edges of the claws, with uneven dots on the front and back of the claws- three tracing the outer edge, two tracing the inner, and one in between those. 
 
His shoulder pads sprout long, curved prawn-like limbs, with one short segment and one long one, ending in the dual-claws. The bottom segments have four sets of two bumps, while the longer ones have eleven (three sets of three, and two on the inner edge. His back has the big, flat end of a lobster tail, with five different "plates", each trimmed with a ribbed line. Atop these five are three little triangular "plates".
 
There is an "85B" on the right boot of mine, and copywright information on the other boot. And a sticker from the Japanese shop where I bought him.
 
Colors: Three- tied for least among the Beasts. His skin is a bright red. His armor is a very light, pastel blue. His eyes are an orange/yellow pallor. Possibly, he may have four colors depending, as the dots on the blue armor are painted on, and in some pictures look rather orange.
Armor: One of the most detailed sets of armor in the line. The torso actually has a ton of colored details, with two sets of three red dots lining the neckline (right under the antennae), and two more large ones on the codpiece. On top of the Chest Marble are two sets of two tiny lines, then cut-out circles, and beneath that three sets of "ribbed" vents going down to the side panels, which are also ribbed (with tiny curved lines at the upper edge). The back-hole has a long raised line underneath it, and two corded wires leading into bits on the shoulders. Beneath those are two small, cut-out vents. The codpiece is blocky and has two long tubes lining the legs.
 
The shoulder-pads are very round, with four sets of double-line mini-vents on them. The front and back have long bumps, flat on the sides, that stick straight out. From the upper corners sprout the prawn-claws.
 
His kneepads are round and end with odd half-spheres with a block on the bottom. The boots themselves are rounded with a LOT of linework, such as four lines on the shins, four segments for the foot part, and two very long, diagonal corded wires leading from the back of the boot (sprouting out of a central, rounded bit on the back) to the sides above the foot. The heel has two rounded "vents", detailed like the torso's side panels.
 
Weapon: Zariganian has a very short gun with three muzzles. There is a small "lobster tail" on one end, and the muzzles are framed by two large claws, with a much bigger bottom claw.
Hands & Feet: Two large lobster claws with lots of bumps and serrated edges. Both resemble the other, and so can hold weapons.
Easily-Broken Bits: Light blue on red, with lots of raised bits, is likely prone to weather. But those TINY prawn-arms are likely lost on any number of figures. I've yet to see any broken ones, though- I think anyone lucky enough to have one of these knows of its rarity.
 
Do I Have One?: Yes! THIS is the one I actually found this one in a store in Japan- their famous Nakano Broadway building. A very long mall with tiny shops dotted all over the place, 90% of which are just "resin model shops" and second-hand stores. He was the only Beast I found, actually- the line is pretty under-represented even in its homeland. Funny thing was, he was much cheaper than any LB I've found in North America, costing about $10 or so. You can't imagine my excitement at actually finding one of these guys in the wild!
 
Overall Score: 10/10 (probably the coolest-looking Laser Beast, at least of the first twelve. VERY distinctive, tons of detail, and more)

Edited by Jabroniville, 20 April 2019 - 10:18 PM.

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#194 Jabroniville

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Posted 03 May 2019 - 11:48 PM

111Salmoman1a.jpg
 
#111: SALMOMANTHER
 
Animal Basis: 
 
1280px-Oncorhynchus_nerka.jpg
 
-Given the name, and his pointy beak, Salmomanther is pretty clearly a salmon. Related to trout, salmon are famous for returning to their original spawning pools once they reach the end of their lives, driving hard through opposite currents and even UP WATERFALLS in order to reach these pools. The act leaves them exhausted and doomed (they experience "programmed aging", visibly deteriorating as they prepare to spawn)- this naturally leads to a huge smorgasbord for bears, eagles, and other carnivores. Salmon are typically oceanic, returning to freshwater lakes to spawn. Males look noticeably different from females, sporting large "beaks" that point downwards. 
 
Salmomanther looks like just about any kind of salmon, oddly except the Japanese manu salmon. 
 
Toy Description: This is the first LB I'm reviewing where I don't own the toy, so I have to go off of online images. He seems to be a very tall, slender, top-heavy Beast, with scales etched into his limbs. He has a head set well into his shoulders, poking forward with a "beak" that points down a bit, with eyes surrounded by lines, and a long dorsal fin on the top of his head. Scale-lines along his cheeks resemble those of the sockeye and other kinds of salmon. You can see teeth at the ends of his mouth, and he has a pretty fierce expression as a result. Both his shoulder pads and wrist guards sport small grey fins with three lines etched into them.
 
The coloring is pretty solid, if unspectacular. Just grey skin, with blue armor and yellow & pink highlights. Honestly, I think Fly Sailor is a much better figure, being flashier and rounder overall. 
 
Colors: Four. His skin is a standard-issue grey. His armor is a darker shade of blue, with yellow piping and a crotch-line. His eyes and shoulder-straps are a very dark pink.
Armor: Salmomanther has a very tall, narrow set of armor, with lined "shoulder straps" going up around his back- these are dark pink. Above his Chest Marble is some other linework, while yellow piping is along his sides- three pipes lead to the back. Unusually, his crotch has a giant, smooth line of yellow paint.
 
His shoulder pads are rounded, with little bits sticking off of them, and tinier bits sticking off of those. Central on the pads are circles with much detailing within. His wrist-guards appear to have some little squares etched into them from the front- small boxes near the elbow, and two larger, more indistinct ones below. His boots are tall, with high kneepads, and two circular bits on each side of the boot. The kneepad has a very long bunch of squares leading down to the boot.
 
Weapon: Salmomanther has a very round, golden-colored "salmon gun". It's basically a scaled fish with a handle and the business end of a rifle sticking out of its mouth.
Hands & Feet: He appears to have large "mitten" hands.
Easily-Broken Bits: The scales on the tops of his shoulder pads are likely the most-damaged bits.
 
Do I Have One?: Nope.
 
Overall Score: 7.5/10 (looks alright, I suppose- just not that spectacular)

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#195 SuperiorManX

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Posted 09 May 2019 - 01:31 PM

Always think his legs will work out nicely, but never do.


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#196 Jabroniville

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Posted 09 May 2019 - 02:54 PM

Do you make stuff out of him? I could never justify the cost of the figure, lol.
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#197 Jabroniville

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Posted 25 May 2019 - 10:05 PM

112DinoGator1a.jpg
 
#112: DINO GATOR
 
Animal Basis: 
 
-I'm guessing an Alligator based off of the name, but the "Dino" means he could be a carnosaur too, I guess. His body plan is generic enough that he could be anything.
 
Toy Description: As a toy, this Laser Beast looks a bit more generic than the typical LB (many of whom are quite unique in terms of body plans), being pretty typical all around. Big body, small head, simple color scheme, etc. That he replicates an existing Battle Beast (the Alligator) doesn't help. But he's still pretty decent-looking. The bronze-ish armor over his bright green skin works well, and the small head makes him menacing. He has a very long, pointed tail, as well.
 
Dino Gator has the round "scaled" skin of many reptilian Beasts, and sports an evil, tooth-filled mouth. His armor has a lot of pointy bits on it, too.
 
Colors: Five. His skin is bright green, and his armor is a dark bronze-like brown. His armor has dark red lights on it, with gold rims around the lights on the upper part. His eyes are bright yellow.
Armor: Dino Gator has a big, spiky one-piece suit of armor. His torso has two large lights/gun tips above his Chest Marble (with two raised circles below them), with gold-rimmed tips and red lights in them. The sides are cut out of the suit, revealing his skin, and his codpiece has two red lights on the crotch. The sides of the codpiece are spiked, as well. His shoulder pads have simple designs, and are topped with curved spikes, and rimmed along the bottoms. His wrist-guards are set into three sections, each tipped with a spike on the outside. His boots are rimmed on the bottom and VERY square, overall- few Beasts have this level of right-angled stuff on them. The kneepads are huge, with three different sections, all tipped by a spike on the front- thus resembling the wrist-guards.
 
He has a small helmet tipped with a spike as well, with a projection going down the forehead.
 
Weapon: His gun looks like a very long crocodilian head with a gun tip at the end- a mout full of sharp teeth and evil eyes seal the whole thing. It's one of the later series, gold weapons.
Hands & Feet: He appears to have large "mitten" hands. He's one of the few LBs with exposed feet, revealing three pointed toes.
Easily-Broken Bits: None, though all those spiked tips probably lose paint like crazy.
 
Do I Have One?: Nope.
 
Overall Score: 8/10 (looks solid, if unspectacular. Being less weird is actually a benefit in some cases)
 

 


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