Ultimate Muscle Neo
#1
Posted 04 November 2007 - 05:33 AM
#2
Posted 04 November 2007 - 11:36 AM
#3
Posted 04 November 2007 - 12:16 PM
#4
Posted 04 November 2007 - 12:39 PM
#5
Posted 04 November 2007 - 12:48 PM
#6
Posted 04 November 2007 - 12:50 PM
Lol, good luck with that. With about 100 people backing you up, your not going to get very far. But good luck none the less.This is an alternate universe 3rd gen project. It is based on the idea that The Jikan Chojins caused a rip in the space time continium thus the creation of Ultimate Muscle Neo. I have sent a letter to Yudetamago to consider this a gaiden or side story and I am waiting for their response.
#7
Posted 04 November 2007 - 12:51 PM
#8
Posted 04 November 2007 - 01:00 PM
#9
Posted 04 November 2007 - 05:38 PM
Edited by guy kinniku, 04 November 2007 - 05:41 PM.
"Gai's Kinniku Clan Favourite Phrase"
"Technique transcends the soul, Begins in the Hands, Ends on the Mat"
#10
Posted 04 November 2007 - 05:56 PM
#11
Posted 04 November 2007 - 06:04 PM
Edited by guy kinniku, 04 November 2007 - 06:04 PM.
"Gai's Kinniku Clan Favourite Phrase"
"Technique transcends the soul, Begins in the Hands, Ends on the Mat"
#12
Posted 04 November 2007 - 06:06 PM
"Gai's Kinniku Clan Favourite Phrase"
"Technique transcends the soul, Begins in the Hands, Ends on the Mat"
#13
Posted 04 November 2007 - 06:56 PM
#14
Posted 05 November 2007 - 04:34 AM
So it is settled come see the True soon to be Yudetamago aprroved 3rd gen site!
I highly doubt that.
#15
Posted 05 November 2007 - 04:52 AM
"Gai's Kinniku Clan Favourite Phrase"
"Technique transcends the soul, Begins in the Hands, Ends on the Mat"
#16
Posted 05 November 2007 - 05:12 PM
And need I remind you SECOND GEN isn't even over yet? I'm not saying anything for or against any Third Generation website. No website is any more canon or official than the other. Flame wars have been the killer of many a great forum,don't add this one to the list. That's all I'm saying.
#17
Posted 05 November 2007 - 05:32 PM
Edited by guy kinniku, 05 November 2007 - 05:32 PM.
"Gai's Kinniku Clan Favourite Phrase"
"Technique transcends the soul, Begins in the Hands, Ends on the Mat"
#19
Posted 06 November 2007 - 08:28 PM
We will follow all established Kinnikuman and Nisei plot points with a few exceptions. This manga is to be considered a seperate universe created when the Time Chojins went into the past as such some changes to history were made and I will list them as follows.
1] All 5 Fated Princes were revived after the throne arc, complete with their 100 million power.
2] Chaos was not killed and joined the Hercules Factory as a trainer.
The following is the established history of Nisei that we are using since that Manga is not finished.
1] General Terror is still alive.
2] Ikeman is now the GWF chairman and Jaqueline is missing.
3] Meat married Miss Marie.
4] Wally Tusket is missing after returning to the present.
5] Mantaro Psardoned all evil Chojins on the condition they retire forever, and are not allowed to train anyone unless it's in the Hercules Factory.
And some 1st arc info
Ok since the first arc is going to revolve around the training at the Hercules factory I think I should explain what I envision the Factory does. This is all open to debate and just a way to get the ball rolling.
The Hercules Factory(HF) is a place for chojins to train their bodies and minds. It is here that they learn not only how to wrestle but how to act in general. The curriculum is broken into 5 classes with a training courses for improving one's physique.
1] Morality- How to act inside and out of the ring: Taught by Road Rage
2] Defensive Techniques-Reversals: Taught by Jaeger
3] Defensive Techniques-Counters: Taught by Checkmate:
4] Offensive Techniques-Moves: Taught by Gorgeousman
5] Offensive Techniques-Holds: Taught by Barrierfreeman
Trauining Courses:
Speed Training: Taught by Dik Dik van Dik
Muscle Training: Taught by Forkollosus
Body Conditioning: Taught by Hydrazoa
I envision the Hercules Factory to graduate 7 teams of 4 Chojins. I see thre being a Tournament on the first day of school also. I think that a Tournament to determine pre-training abilities should be held. The top 10 chojins will pick 3 other students to become part of their team. Each team would be responsible to help each other graduate. This is to instill friendship power in the newest generation from the onset. The teams will have their ranks averaged together to determine a team rank. The top 7 teams will graduate and choose a ciontinent or Japan to defend. The top team will choose first and so on. The 3 non-graduating teams will be forced to defend the HF and be allowed 1 challenge to any team at any time to try to replace them much like Gen X did.
#20
Posted 07 November 2007 - 12:45 PM
#21
Posted 18 December 2007 - 01:38 PM
#22
Posted 05 February 2008 - 01:22 PM
The 4 Lords of Perfection
Name: Magno “Lord of Magnetism”
Height: 6’6
Weight: 195 lbs.
Power level: 25 million
Age: 27
Look: A tall slender chojin in a black full body suit with a silver plus and minus symbol on his chest. ( +/-) His face is silver and emotionless.
Fighting Style: Magnetic powers
Signature Moves:
EMP wave: Sends out a electro magnetic pulse to shut down any robo chojin opponents. Inneffective against non-robo chojins.
Four Corner EM storm: By altenating a positive and negetive charge in the corner post he can send bolts of electricity across the ring from post to post.
Magnetic Shredder: By magnetizing the corner post he can tear a robo chojin into four pieces. Less effective against non-robo chojins without metallic minerals (iron) in their body.
Finisher:
Magnetic Crash: Grabbing his opponent he makes himself and the ring the same charge thus flinging himself and his opponent into the air. When the force has reached full force he switches his charge to pull himself down with a massive force thus pildriving his opponent through the ring.
Debut Bio: He appears alongside a revived Big Budo to Challenge Mantaro and the 8 Time crossed Chojins.
Quirks: Announces his moves before he starts them.
Name: Gravitas “Lord of Gravity”
Height: 4’11
Weight: varies due to his power… from 8 lbs to 800 tons.
Power level: 32 million
Age: 45
Look: A short stocky middle aged man dressed in a green and t-shirt with blue jeans. He has a grey beard and his hair is grey and balding.
Fighting Style: Gravity Powers
Signature Moves:
Repulsion: Causes his personal gravity field repel his opponent to get a count out win.
Heavyweight: Increases his own gravity to increase his strength and weight but slows himself down.
Light weight: Lowers his gravity field to increase speed but loses strength and weight.
Finisher:
The Big Crunch: Increases the gravity around his opponent to compact them into a tiny cube.
Debut Bio: He appears alongside a revived Big Budo to Challenge Mantaro and the 8 Time crossed Chojins.
Quirks: He hates to be called middle aged or balding.
Name: Mr. Stix “Lord of the Weak Force”
Height: 7’4
Weight: 190lbs
Power level: 35 Million
Age: 80
Look: A tall thin wrinkly old man dressed in a black suit with a stove pipe hat. His skin has liver spots all over it.
Fighting Style: Weak Force powers
Signature Moves:
Dust Touch: By destroying the weak bond of a series of atoms he can turn anything he touches with his left hand into dust. Though he can’t use it without weakening himself significantly.
Liquid Touch: By destroying the weak bond of a series of atoms he can turn anything he touches with his right hand into liquid. Though he can’t use it without weakening himself significantly.
Reformation: By using the opposite touch on dust or liquid he created he can reform the item.
Finisher:
Double Dose: He touches the ring with his right hand and liquefies it. He then slams the opponent into the water and then reforms it to make the ring inside his opponent. He can also do it in reverse using his Dust Touch first.
Debut Bio: He appears alongside a revived Big Budo to Challenge Mantaro and the 8 Time crossed Chojins.
Quirks: Forgetful to the point that he can’t remember what he used his powers on.
Name: Stone “Lord of the Strong Bond”
Height: 9’6
Weight: 500lbs
Power level: 45 Million
Age: 19
Look: A large muscular chojin. He wears a one piece similar to Andre the Giants. His fist are covered in spiked metallic gloves of a indestructible composite. His boots are also made of this metal as are his knee pads.
Fighting Style: Strong Bond Powers
Signature Moves:
Strong Bond Hold: Using the strong bond force he can cause his opponent to be stuck at arms length from himself. Unable to retreat further or get closer.
Strong Bond Glue: Using the strong bond force he can cause his opponent to be stuck to the mat. Thus enabling him to use varios top rope moves and running attacks.
Strong Bond Cornered: Using the strong bond force he can cause his opponent to be stuck in the corner of the ring allowing easy ascces to their face or back depending on the way they are facing.
Finisher:
Strong Bond Slam: Using the strong bond force he can cause his opponent to be stuck to the mat standing up right. H then jumps into the rope and delivers a flying clothesline. At impact they are released from the mat and now stuck to his arm.He then uses his momentum to hurl himself upward then down to the mat.
Debut Bio: He appears alongside a revived Big Budo to Challenge Mantaro and the 8 Time crossed Chojins.
Quirks: Loves to gloat and show off his muscles whenever his opponent is hit with a move.
Edited by Neo Muscle, 05 February 2008 - 01:31 PM.
#23
Posted 06 February 2008 - 01:08 PM
#24
Posted 27 February 2008 - 02:50 PM
Prologue: Chapter 1
Inside an Irish pub in the heart of Dublin a strange reunion is about to take place. In the front door walk a muscalar man wearing a large overcoat and hat. The bar tender directs him to the back room where he becomes aware that he is the last person to show up. As he takes his coat off a friendly voice is heard.
Voice: About time you showed up here MAntaro.
Mantaro: Chill out Terry you know how hard it is to get away from the wife.
Terry: Ha ha. You wanted to marry Roxxane for years, you should be happy.
Mantaro: he ha. Yeah, But who knew she'd get so naggy? Speaking of nagging wives, how's married life treating you Jaeger?
Jaeger: You know, some good days some bad ones....
Just then he is cut off by a gruff voice booming from a large red masked man.
Scarface: Did we come here to talk about your pathetic lives or did we come here to find Wally?
Barrierfreeman: Yeah Scarface is right. We really should get this over with so we can go back to our reguar lives.
Warsman:.......hmmph!
Mantaro smiles a stupid grin and starts to talk nervously.
Mantaro: Look guys we all have things to go home and do but this is for Wally! We, just can't leave him out there all alone.
Comrade Turbinski: I my not have known Wally as well as some of you but Mantaro it has been ten years. We don't even know if Wally survived the blast from Neptuneman. Heck we barely survived!
Terry: Y'all need to settle down. This aint gettin us nowhere.
Jaeger: Ja! Heir Terry is right. We all need to relax. Perhaps we should head to the sight of Wally's disapearence and start this year's search there?
Checkmate: Though I have been silent I can hold my tongue no longer. We go through this every year, and every year we come to the same result. I suggest we go to the source of the time anomoly, perhaps Wally is there?
Mantaro: Check is right. Besides maybe while we're there we can fix all the things we screwed up by heading into the past!
Jaeger: Ja! I am tired of people telling me I had great matches when I don't even remember them!
Terry: At least you don't have to pretend to remember seeing your old man's trophy for the Ultimate Tag Tournament.
Mantaro: Ha! I have to deal with five uncles whom believe they helped train me. That Big Body is one boring old fart!
The grup of chojins finish there drinks and head out of the pub. They all board Mantaro's spaceship and head directly for the Time Anomoly deep withen the Earth's crust.
#25 Guest_General Veers_*
Posted 27 February 2008 - 05:29 PM
Ok, I’ve busted your balls a million times - but I have tried to offer some constructive criticism, and I’m going to say it again. Show don’t tell.
Aren’t all pubs in Dublin Irish? It’s redundant, just say it’s a pub but show us the details. Is it full, empty, downtown, in a field, smoky? We need details. Don’t just list either, find creative ways to share the details. And don’t tell us it’s a strange reunion, show us.Inside an Irish pub in the heart of Dublin a strange reunion is about to take place.
How do you know he’s muscular if he’s wearing a large overcoat? Either he’s wearing undersized coat and you can see his muscular build, or the jacket is so large it hides his physique. If it is anywhere in-between it probably fits fine. And what kind of hat-School boy cap, baseball hat, 10-gallon cowboy hat?In the front door walk a muscalar man wearing a large overcoat and hat.
These are the signs of a lazy writer.
You also need to drop names from the conversation. It’s unnatural, unless the goal is to have an unnatural conversation.
I don’t think you’ll be able to take the constructive criticism, but it’s necessary if you’re going to write anything.