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Battle Beasts- Full Descriptions & Notes


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#51 Jabroniville

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Posted 05 February 2017 - 06:23 PM

Seriously man. I never stumble across random penguins. Of course when I do, I chop their heads off, so maybe it's for the best.

Hahah, yeah, the "cut up ancient toys" thing horrifies me. I feel guilty even painting some of mine, and THOSE ones were in extremely awful condition! That little part of me is always like "These have a finite supply! They are a non-renewable resource! Who cares how cool a Snowy Owl might look! STOP IT!"


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#52 Jabroniville

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Posted 07 February 2017 - 12:20 AM

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#38: POWERHOUSE MOUSE
Japanese Name: Scout Mouse 
Animal Basis: 
 
-This guy is probably the commonly-known House Mouse. Rodents are the most populous Order of Mammalia by far- taking up 40% of all mammalian species- and also one of the most adapatable. They can live anywhere, do many things, and breed like crazy, making up for their short life spans and weak bodies. Rodent means "to gnaw", and that's what they do. Their gross, sharp teeth peel slices off of various things, causing humans all sorts of grief, since we don't like almost anything in this Order. Mice are the most numerous rodents, being the most far-reaching animal on Earth after us. Typically in many different Species, but the most common one is the House Mouse (Mus musculus). The "Mouse-Like Rodents" are the Suborder Myomorpha, and features *1,137* unique Species!! 
 
Toy Description: This is one I never really though much of when I was a kid, but seeing a two-armed version at the Old Strathcona Antique Mall, I was actually struck by how neatly-designed this one is. The "mousy" bits themselves aren't that impressive, but the color choice (grey/blue/red) and very, VERY detailed armor help what's a pretty plain animal (not prone to awesome designs) really stand out. A "38" is on his lower back, and there's a tiny "B" on the back of his armor. In addition, this guy has an ever-rare TAIL- it curves down his right leg, pointing backwards (while merging with his foot)- not a huge amount of detail, but it's more than most Beasts get. His left foot has a peg-hole in it.
 
Colors: Four. His body is a light grey color, and his armor is an odd, dark pastel red. His Secondary Bits, Helmet and Special Hand are all light blue. His eyes and (oddly) teeth are a sickly-looking yellow.
Armor: One of the more-detailed sets of armor in the line, actually. There are lines and details EVERYWHERE- his boots, torso, gauntlets & shoulder pads are covered in elaborate lines and raised mechanical bits, and his shoulder pads end in tiny spikes projecting outwards. A large backpack/engine thing sits on his back, with a lot of rounded pieces. Two blue "vents" (of four vents each) sit next to his Chest Symbol, and two blue circles are on the front of his codpiece. A larger blue circle is on the rear of it. He has a rather large, thin head-guard that goes from the back of his head to a point ending beneath his eye-line. And even THAT is heavily-detailed, with a raised middle bit, two vents on the front, and ending in a spiked tip.
Weapon: A long golden sword, notable for having a rounded crossguard, and a long blade that bulges in the middle.
Hands & Feet: A three-fingered hand, and three-toed feet. His left hand is a large, mechanical-looking "shovel" of sorts.
Easily-Broken Bits: None, though his round ears stick out a bit.
 
Had it as a Kid: Yep- this guy looks very unimpressive without his arms.
Variants: There is a fairly-rare "unpainted teeth" version, which again, is oddly MORE expensive, despite being less-detailed than the baseline toy! There are also sightings of a much darker-gold version of his weapon.
 
Overall Score: 8/10 (actually a really good figure overall)
 

 


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#53 Jabroniville

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Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:51 PM

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#8: SLEDGEHAMMER ELEPHANT
Japanese Name: Elephan 
Animal Basis:
 
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This one's rather obvious- Sledgehammer Elephant is clearly an African Elephant, which is easily differentiated from the Asian variety due to its much more massive ears. Even the lack of other identifying features (size; hump on the back) doesn't prevent this from being clear.
 
-Elephants are part of the Order Proboscidea- home to the largest land animals on Earth. This obviously makes them pretty famous, as you'll see Elephants everywhere- Disney movies, background scenes in Africa, etc. They used to be a lot more widespread, especially with the Mammoths & Mastodons, but the centuries haven't been so kind- both modern-day species are endangered. Their fabled ivory tusks are a target for poachers, and the Asian species' land is up for grabs in the South Asian area. The earliest-known member of the Order was about the size of a fox, but generally they're all known for being exceptionally huge. Oddly enough, their closest relatives amongst animals are the tiny Hyraxes, and the aquatic Sirenians (Manatees & Dugongs).
 
-Elephants have great intelligence (considered Ape or Dolphin-like at times), and are known to have a great deal of self-awareness and empathy, finding the skeletons of other elephants fascinating to handle and observe.
 
-African Elephants are so powerful than virtually the only thing screwing with them are entire PACKS of lions, or humans from afar with their giant guns. Otherwise, this is the king of the mountain of the animal kingdom on land- nothing can stop them. They're so overwhelmingly powerful that they've caused permanent injuries to humans BY ACCIDENT, and even smaller ones have taken literally SEVENTY bullets from standard-issue police handguns before dropping. Their sheer bulk is unmatched- they grow continuously throughout their lives, so that a 50-year old male is noticeably larger than a 20-year old, despite both being adults. I can't even imagine the mindset of a Roman Legionnaire fighting the hordes of Carthage and seeing some of THESE things running around with guys on top of them (Elephant Cavalry easily disrupts Horse Cavalry, as Horses generally won't come close to Elephants). Humans simply... don't survive encounters with Elephants that turn violent. Unless they're extremely lucky and manage to grab hold of a leg or something.
 
-Elephants have numerous odd things due to their size. Their famous giant ears are full of blood-vessels, meant to easily expose their blood to the air to cool it down- animals at this size (particularly mammals- Dinosaurs were less affected presumably) overheat VERY quickly, and thus need little cheats like that and wallowing in mud or water to stay cool. Their feet have absorbent pads, allowing them to detect things at range- particularly other Elephants' low-pitched grumblings, or the presence of water underground (their fabled "Never Forget" ability is actually them detecting the water- not remembering where old veins of it were). And their trunk has more muscles than your whole body.
 
Danger to Humans: You have to ask? An angry Elephant is easily the most dangerous land creature in the Animal Kingdom. Given their intelligence, manual dexterity and mass, the only animal with a greater variety in ways to kill Man is Man himself. Given that they can weigh more than 12,000 pounds, Elephants are easily capable of killing people by ACCIDENT, much less on purpose. Elephants have calmly crushed people to death by pressing their heads onto them, cracked skulls open with their feet, thrown people with fatal force, and simply dismembered them. There have been numerous reports of hormone-crazed male elephants goring RHINOS to death, and tearing them to pieces.
 
-In India, where Elephants are often used for labor, they result in about 150 human fatalities a year, which is more than TIGERS manage. In Africa AND Asia, they are known to demolish entire villages because someone pissed them off. Exceptionally-intelligent and with the concept of revenge, combined with their power, adult Elephants have only one real enemy: us.
 
Toy Description: Another very iconic, distinctive Beast, I kind of glossed him over for years because mine had no arms, and I'd had him for so long he kind of became "plain" to me. But really- a PURPLE Elephant?!? He's one of the biggest stand-outs in terms of "Non-Natural Colors" for the Beasts- most just alter the base color slightly (a yellow Tiger, grey Platypus or fully-white Lion), but this one is straight-up way outside the bounds of reality. It's an odd pastel purple, too- likely to avoid clashing with whatever armor they gave him (in this case, dark grey). He's appropriately one of the most massive Beasts, as well. He's altogether very well put-together. However, one flaw I notice is that the plastic is prone to "yellowing"- much like the white-colored Beasts, this particular shade of purple will fade at the edges, turning him semi-transparent with a creamy color.
 
He has one of the largest heads of the Beasts, as his trunk and short tusks (which are not colored separately from the rest of him- kind of a flaw, given how large they are physically) extend a long ways down. His ears project out by quite a ways as well (marking him as an African, rather than an Asian, elephant). Like most early-number beasts, his number is on the back of his head, and the copywrite info is on his back. A small "A" is on his right boot.
 
Colors: Three. His body is a very light, pastel purple. His armor is dark grey (almost black), and his Secondary Color and eyes are dark yellow.
Armor: A fairly-large two-piece with more mass than extreme detail- his kneepads are very rounded, and his shoulder pads lie separate from the rest of the armor. Because of his trunk & tusks, his Symbol is placed far lower than normal- it's straight-up on his crotch! A fairly-long piece of armor is on top of his head- it curves around the top of his skull, ending in a large, raised bit with a yellow trapezoid at the peak. The bottom of his kneepads also have "headlights" of sorts.
Weapon: A long silver "sword" of sorts- it's kind of shaped like an inverted baseball bat (so that it's pointy on the end). A pair of spikes act as a small "crossguard", and there are four spikes circling near the tip. A nosecone caps off the thing.
Hands & Feet: One large "mitten" hand, and three-toed feet. His left hand is a large grey double-ended hammer.
Easily-Broken Bits: The tip of the trunk is prone to damage. And as I mentioned, the purple tends to miscolor with age- the toes, tip of the nose, and the edges of his huge ears are VERY prone to turning a "creamy" glue-like color with time and weathering. Both of mine are like this.
 
Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and weathered.
Variants: None.
 
Overall Score: 7.5/10 (high-quality figure, though I'm not sold on the color scheme)
 

 


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#54 Jabroniville

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Posted 12 February 2017 - 02:33 AM

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#8: SLY FOX
Japanese Name: Bea Fox 
Animal Basis: 
 

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Sly Fox seems pretty clearly to be a Red Fox, given that those are popular in Japan as well (giving rise to the "kitsune" myths of shapeshifting creatures). Foxes are tiny, rather insignificant predators in the grand scheme of things, but their outstanding appearance and sneaky, stealthy ways has led to great fame as a mystical, wise trickster, much like the Coyote- however, the Fox has more importance in Western society, owing to the fact that white people didn't see Coyotes until a few centuries ago. So you get a lot of stuff like the fox symbolizing cunning with folkloric characters like Reynard the Fox. The Red Fox statted here is the largest variety. In terms of distance covered, they are easily the most widely-distributed member of Carnivora on Earth, living all across the Arctic Circle to North Africa and Asia. Introduced populations in Australia are effective enough hunters that they're considered a high-end "Bad Invasive Species".
 
-Foxes are currently being used for a study in Domestication of animals, with several generations being selectively-bred for tameness around people. Astonishingly, the breeders discovered the new generations of Foxes developing curled tails and strange coat patterns (such as piebald)- traits of domesticated DOGS! This seems to give credence to a theory that the very traits that make Dogs DOGS are the ones that make other tame animals so distinct. You'll note how Wild Horses and other animals are typically fairly-uniform in appearance- rarely sporting bizarre patterns unless that's their standard form (like Zebras).
 
Toy Description: This guy was always one of my top picks back in the day, despite being fairly "standard issue" and not really dynamically-colored. He just looks very "classic" and somewhat-noble (the friendly smile marked him as a "good guy"). I actually made him my "Second-In-Command" for the heroic Beasts (I was OBSESSED with giving every group a Team Leader, then a #2 guy). He's somewhat recognizable as a fox given his orange-ish complexion and his canine head & pointed ears. The pure white armor stands out, too- it's not white plastic, so it's not as prone to fading as the white Beasts are. Unusually, he has a tail- but despite Foxes having one of the most-iconic tails in the animal kingdom, his is fairly tiny and not foxlike in the slightest- it's basically a tiny little pointy "nub". Like most early Beasts, he has a number on his head, a letter on his left boot (a "B" in my case), and copywrite info on his back. Oddly, however, only my childhood Fox has the "B"- the "mintier" one I got from eBay does not.
 
Colors: Three. His body is a slightly-orange brown color, and his armor is painted white. His eyes, head-thingie and the collar of his armor are all blue.
Armor: A very simple one-piece, though well-designed- it's fairly large, boxy size is the "iconic" Battle Beast formula to me. The boots are big and have vents and blocky kneepads, along with three lines on each side. Beneath his Chest Symbol is a small box with what looks like a "W" on top of an "O"- it seems more like a generic shape. His armor has a blue collar made up of squares and raised "dots", while his head brandishes one of those metal slabs- it's blue, but with a small white dot on top.
Weapon: A giant, dark bronze letter "D" on a hilt. No seriously, that's totally what it is. The points on the ends make it look kinda like the Mighty Ducks "D".
Hands & Feet: Rare four-fingered hands, along with three-toed feet.
Easily-Broken Bits: None, though his tail is very prone to weathering, being pointy and small.
 
Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and weathered as hell.
Variants: None.
 
Overall Score: 7/10 (nothing spectacular, but I have a lot of cherished childhood memories of my "Good Guy 2nd-In-Command")
 

 


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#55 Jabroniville

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 01:14 AM

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#18: RUBBERNECK GIRAFFE
Japanese Name: Yellow Giraffe
Animal Basis:

800px-Two_Giraffes.PNG

-The Giraffe is fairly obvious, though the exact type of Giraffe is unknown. He's probably a Reticulated Giraffe, the most commonly-seen one, with the most "clean" pattern. Well, this order pretty much just has the Giraffes. And the Okapi, an animal only discovered in the past 100 years, being thought so unbelievable that they couldn't possibly exist. They specialize in ultra-long tongues and little stumpy ossicones on top of their heads. Giraffes sprung off of a group that went on to form Bovidae & Cervidae- their ancestors were usually smaller and more heavily-built, resembling Deer. Sivatherium was an astonishing 7 feet at the shoulder, built like a larger Okapi, with impressive antler-like ossicones. It may have only gone extinct as recently as 8,000 years ago, judging by some cave paintings discovered in Africa.

-Giraffes are pretty cool, and notable for being of course the tallest land animal in the world. Nobody believed they were real until they saw them with their own two eyes, and even then they were in awe (the Latin name dervies from it's perceived "parents"- the camel & the leopard). Containing many subspecies (some of which are quite rare) that more or less look exactly the same with some minor variations in markings, Giraffes are extremely powerful fighters, but are still victimized by Lions, about the only African predator that can harm them (and even then, a well-placed kick can shatter a skull or break a spine).

-It's hard to describe just how BIG these things are without being close to them- the Calgary Zoo had a BABY that was able to peer sadly out of a really high window because it wanted to go outside. And there's nothing quite like watching an animal give birth to a SIX-FOOT INFANT that falls clear to the floor from a standing mother. The record is 20 feet tall, but most are between 16 and 18 feet. And apparently the males tend to get it on with each other more than the females.

-Giraffes fighting each other for dominance is a very weird thing- the two males stand astride each other and calmly and silently SWEEP their heads towards each other, creating massive "CRACK!" noises that echo across the savannah- they hit so hard, and their necks flail so wildly, that every strike looks like it causes neck-breaking damage.

Toy Description: Chalk this guy up as yet another one of the Beasts who I disregarded as a kid, but recognize as a pretty good one these days. My childhood toy of course had massive damage and missing arms, making his elongated body look EXTRA skinny, which is probably why I didn't think much of him. He is, however, one of the few I remember seeing in the package as a kid- I think my dad came home from work with one of the two-packs.

The Giraffe is, unsurprisingly, the tallest Battle Beast of them all. Designing a bipedal version of such a strange-looking animal could not be easy- they're digitigrade and are known primarily for their titanic necks. But they actually pull this one off- his body is taller and thinner than that of most Beasts, and his neck is just a BIT long- it's only a little longer than his head is tall- much shorter than a real giraffe's. But, given that most Beasts are basically neckless, boxy-shaped types, this still gives him a noticeably different silhouette. His armor is well-detailed as well (there's a tiny "B" on the left boot of two of my Giraffes, though another two I have has a "C"), the color-scheme is well-chosen, and he even has extra details- his skin features numerous bumps to imitate the rosette markings of a giraffe. He even has ossicones! And his weapon is one of the best in the line, too- a really good Beast, all things considered.

Colors: Three. His body is bright canary yellow (not quite a giraffe's "tan", but what the hell- close enough), and his armor is a very dark, greenish shade of blue. His eyes and pieces of his armor are red.
Armor: A two-piece set, with a good number of details and pronounced points. His shoulder pads are spiked, and his Chest Symbol has two red headlights beside it, as well as a large red "rack" beneath. His blue headgear actually imitates the giraffe's "mohawk", going all the way down the back of his neck, while ending up top with a pair of tiny ossicones.
Weapon: One of the line's five best weapons- it resembles a large bronze elk's antler, with spikes all over. The branching spikes make it look really distinctive and nasty.
Hands & Feet: Rare four-fingered hand, combined with a left hand that looks like a cloven hoof (sort of like a giraffe's foot). His feet actually end in paired hooves like a real giraffe's as well.
Easily-Broken Bits: His scrawny physique makes him a tad vulnerable I'd imagine, but the bits you're most likely to lose are the teensy little ossicones.

Had it as a Kid: Yep- armless and weathered as hell.
Variants: None.

Overall Score: 7/10 (pretty good, but not spectacular)


Edited by Jabroniville, 21 February 2017 - 01:16 AM.

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#56 Spiritcrusher

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Posted 23 March 2017 - 04:49 PM

I see maybe one Penguin show up on ebay every 2 or 3 months. I wish there were more of them
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