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The Worst Action Figure Ever?


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#26 Drtooth

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Posted 13 August 2003 - 11:20 AM

Are you kidding? those things are GREAT!!!

Not when they take up 90% of the toy aisle....

Now the Spiderman hands that shot Web silly string... now THOSE were cool!
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#27 Ridureyu

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Posted 07 January 2004 - 09:17 AM

After much thought, I'd have to say Saddle Sore from the Cow Boys of Moo Mesa toyline is the worst toy from my childhood. It's a pity, too- you'd think that a cowboy scorpion would be cool, but he didn't resemble his cartoon version- the figure really, really, really looked like a circus clown hyped up on crack. There were other details, such as the rubbery head, weird scale, and overly goofy gun, that just took away from the figure. And don't be fooled, his "Tail flippin' Action" meant "You can move his tail up or down if you want." It was kind of like how a lot of the TMNT action figures were just plain demented, but the difference is that they were somehow loveable.

http://pages.tias.co...1921140911.html


Poor, poor, Saddle Sore.

Edited by Ridureyu, 07 January 2004 - 09:38 AM.

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#28 Ridureyu

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Posted 07 January 2004 - 09:38 AM

And as far as toys that I've picked up as an adult collector, I have to say the Shiki figure from the short-lived Samurai Shodown toyline (yes, spelled correctly) is the second-worst that I can think of. While Shiki is cool, her toy is not. It has about as much articulation as a statue, is in an awkward pose, can't hold either of her misproportioned swords (too small), and the sculpt is terrible- just look at her face! It's only made worse when you compare it to the actual character, who's rather... erm... good.

http://actionfigures...y/aa062901e.htm
http://www.gamegen.c...ters/shiki.html



And for the Grand Prize Winner, there's Vega (mask and claw) from ReSaurus' Street Fighter II line. He has articulation, but it's worthless, can't stand, can't keep his mak on his face, has a weird, bulky body, a PUG-UGLY face, and basically has no purpose. Honestly, a STREET FIGHTER figure should be able to, you know, fight. The GI Joe Street Fighters were horribly inaccurate, but at least they were fun- you know, like GI Joes always were. Vega lacks play value AND display value. At least the Shiki figure looks somewhat decent when standing in the back row of action figures on a shelf, but I couldn't find any way to make Vega look better. The ultra-vain psychotic assassin now resembles a semi-deformed mongoloid with a bad wrist (let's not forget the lipstick and earrings, either!). Just this toy alone has turned me off from all of ReSaurus' other Street Fighter offerings. Really... it's just plain bad.


http://systems.figur...fig&domain_id=4

Luckily, I couldn't find a picture of Vega with his mask off. Looking at it would probably turn the average man to stone.

(edit) Found it. Luckily, it's not a close-up shot of his face:

http://www.phenixsol.../sf2Vegatoy.jpg



Oh, and that Gamera Irys figure I reviewed last July is up there, soo, but at least it looks cool, if nothing else.

Edited by Ridureyu, 07 January 2004 - 01:18 PM.

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#29 Drtooth

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Posted 08 January 2004 - 10:28 AM

I think that there's a special place in this list for the "Birthday Party" Ninja Turtles... you know, Disturbing Clown Mike, scarey magician Raph... whatever the hell Donatello was...
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#30 Ridureyu

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Posted 08 January 2004 - 10:42 AM

But those have great comedic value- who doesn't want Farmer Michelangelo, or Capt. leonardo Kirk?
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#31 Drtooth

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Posted 08 January 2004 - 12:09 PM

Well, Star Trek Turtles, and Mikey as Frankenstien are all well and good for comic relief... but

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that's just disturbing..... no wonder why so many people are afraid of clowns!!!

Also a correction... It wasn't Don, but Leo who was a figure
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Actually, that's kind of fun... he has that, "I'm totally disappointed with my party, but I'm making a pitty smile so I won't offend anyone" look on his face!

Edited by Drtooth, 08 January 2004 - 12:11 PM.

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#32 Tortle

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Posted 08 January 2004 - 01:04 PM

Playmates had plenty of atocious ideas with TMNT (although the clown Mike obviously takes the cake)...

April, the Ninja Newscaster
Turtle Troll Leo
Farmer Mike
Jim Lee's Raphael (What was Jim smoking when he designed this?!)
Rappin' Mike
Bandito-Bashing Mike (Mike always seems to get the worst outfits!)

I'm surprised that they maintained the license for so long. I guess Eastman and Laird didn't care what happened with their creations as long as they got a paycheck.

-Nathan

Edited by Tortle, 08 January 2004 - 01:05 PM.

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#33 Ridureyu

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Posted 08 January 2004 - 03:20 PM

Kick it, dude. It's Rappin' Mike - and he's rip-rappin' to the rescue! Can't touch this clippin' lipper as he cribs it on the flipside. When Mike's mutin' the menace, you can't lose! He's hangin' a rappin' 'n scratchin' turntable to squelch the sewer scum from here to kingdom come. Ooze, baby, ooze! Lay an eye-spy on Mike's def mutant mic - yo, it's a ninety decibel nunchuku! And keep 'em hip hoppin' and Foot floppin' with Mike's moon moccasins. So be cool home boy: ice it on the spotlight and blast it with the sheik of shell. Go, ninja, go with Rappin' Mike!




GO NINJA GO NINJA GO

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO


One of these days, I actually plan to OWN some of those, and put them up in a very special display.
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#34 Drtooth

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Posted 29 January 2004 - 01:50 PM

April, the Ninja Newscaster
Turtle Troll Leo
Farmer Mike
Jim Lee's Raphael (What was Jim smoking when he designed this?!)
Rappin' Mike
Bandito-Bashing Mike (Mike always seems to get the worst outfits!)

Well... oddly enough you should question why he made Raph look like that. Ironically that is a very stylized version of the costume Raph (and the Turtles) wears in the cheese fest "TMNT Anime" http://www.ninjaturt...Anime/Anime.htm

Rapper Mike... God I hate him. Back in the day, I loved Mike (Still do... Him and Raph are tied for my favorite) but I could not even dream of buying Rap Mike. Classic Rock Leo maybe, but that dumbarse looking giant clock 1980's rapper look... shudder... I should have said that one first!
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#35 Knuxman

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Posted 30 January 2004 - 09:26 PM

Thank you, Dr. tooth for proving my "Clown TMNT = Overused franchise" theory is right, as much as i love TMNT that is just one step too far.
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#36 Ridureyu

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Posted 10 April 2004 - 05:53 PM

It's time for this topic to be revived.
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#37 Drtooth

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Posted 12 April 2004 - 12:57 PM

I hear everyone complain a lotana Jones action figure souveniers!

Bet they do suck... of course, there's no telling if they really do, since the die hard action figure geewks on those sites hate EVERYTHING!
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#38 Tortle

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Posted 12 April 2004 - 01:37 PM

I hear everyone complain a lot {about the Indi}ana Jones action figure souveniers!

I do believe you're referring to the Indiana Jones Disney Park exclusives. I think the fans have a lot to complain about with those figures. They're pretty horrible. I think Marion is a strong contender for worst action figure ever!
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#39 Drtooth

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Posted 12 April 2004 - 04:02 PM

Yeah... those are ugh.... simply ugh.

Though the whole point of souvenier toys is to suck, and people by hundreds of them to remember that they were at the theme park, and because they can't really go back again.

Bought a bunch of real shiznit at Six Flags, and I don't even know why! GLEH!
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#40 billpepper

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Posted 17 April 2004 - 10:43 AM

It' been my opinion for a long time that alot of bad toys come from movies just to name a few the Terminator figs bad, The Last Action Hero bad or when they actually made a Turboman from Arnie's Jingle All The Way, did anybody buy one of those, come to think about it maybe it's just Arnie's movies to produce bad toys no wait their's Men in Black,Wild Wild West and Independence Day but those are all Will Smith movies ......... a theme is amerging

then theirs the animated world of crappy figures Jakie Chan's cartoon,I like but it had bad toys Double Dragon the cartoon I liked but it had bad toys The Adventures of Big Guy and Rusty The Boy Robot that I loved had bad toys and I just thought of Savage Dragon awsome toon but bad toys

thats all I can think now but I'LL BE BACK ...LOL :o
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BIG GUY SHIMMY!!!!!!!!

#41 BaltanII

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Posted 18 April 2004 - 02:16 AM

There were toys for Big Guy and Rusty? And I didn't know?! :o
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#42 Drtooth

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Posted 20 April 2004 - 10:16 AM

There was, but they were underpromoted, and whent on sale (to be available, not on clearance) just after Fox Kids canned the series. I do have one... it's alright... not the best, but I liked it.

I really think that we should add MacFarline Sports action figures as well... doies anyone actually buy those? THEY are far too dull for me.
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#43 smackman

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Posted 27 April 2004 - 10:49 PM

If this one isn't the worst.... :ulp:


http://www.entertain...ariation=&lg=1
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#44 Rokk

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Posted 28 April 2004 - 08:33 AM

The Librarian figure just might be the lamest action figure I have ever seen.
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#45 Tortle

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Posted 28 April 2004 - 09:10 AM

I concur... the Librarian just may be the winner.
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#46 Ridureyu

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Posted 28 April 2004 - 10:23 AM

There have to be worse figures than that...
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#47 BaltanII

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Posted 29 April 2004 - 10:02 AM

Ok, what about... the Albino Bowler!

http://www.entertain...?number=AU11006
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#48 General Veers

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Posted 29 April 2004 - 10:11 AM

My review pertains to figures that I have personally owned, because I wouldn't be able to write a good review of a figure that I haven't personally "played with".

:woot:
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#49 Ramses

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Posted 29 April 2004 - 08:29 PM

I OBJECT!

I say...

JESUS

with 2 points of articulaton,I bet you God must be cursing the guys who made it now...

God-...WTF is this!? a Rock has more articulation then this?! Blasfomy!

toy makers-....um,big G,thats made from an Authentic stone from isreal ya know?

God-...and yet,the Marvel Legends line has better articulation AND they successfuly made a kick arse Punisher figure and Howard the Duck. Why count you guys get Howard the Duck to be with Jesus?!

TMs-...um....Thats our super hidden,one in 1,000,0000 cases Varient big G! :woot:

God-...let's hope so,if not,I shall layith thy Smackdown on thou collectiveve asses.

Edited by Jadger, 29 April 2004 - 08:34 PM.

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#50 Rokk

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Posted 30 April 2004 - 04:39 AM

I agree with Veers for the most part. You do have to play with a figure before you can come to a detailed conclusion that an action figure sucked and why it sucked. However, some action figures reek of "suckiness" so hard, that a simple picture and description is enough for me to say that it is one of the worst action figures ever. I believe that the Librarian definately fits that description.

Now, Jesus, on the other hand, isn't as bad as the Librarian. Yes, his sculpt is as lame as the Librarian. Yes, they both have terrible articulation. However, the big difference would come in play-ability.

What are you going to do with the Librarian? Tell your other action figures to "Shush?" Maybe alphabetize your comics? Talk about the virtues of the Dewey decimal system to your Kinnikuman figures? Boring! No play-ability.

On the other hand, Jesus has tons of play-ability. You could create miracles for your other action figures. Water to wine so your Iron Man action figure could get hammered. Heal the sick so your Professor Xaviar mini-mate could walk again. Walk on water so he could visit your Marvel Legends Namor figure. He could even piss off your Hulk figure, get killed and then come back to life bigger and better than ever. So, I give Jesus the nod over the Librarian.
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