I rode in the car with a real pimp last night...

Not like I am glorifying being a pimp... but I had a effing true life experience tonight. My night went from lame to insane in .3 seconds.

My homeboy called me at 11 to ask me if I wanted to go meet his girlfriend and her friends at a strip club in Hollywood.... I was thinking about going to Evolve but at this point I was like... ok I will go hang with some girls at a strip club. So we drive down there... as soon as I heard where the club was I knew it was gonna be a shady night, we went to Tulips on Sunset... and the fun begins.

We pounded a bottle of Jagermeister in the parking lot before going inside and got totally shizznitfaced, then rolled in. Once in, I looked around at the trashy girls in there and felt sorry for them and proceeded to go back outside. My homeboy and his gf start having a fight because she wanted a lap dance from this girl in there who was actually quite hot... kinda bettie paige lookin, but anyway, I let them argue and walked to my car, grabbed my cellphone and called up my homeboy who I knew was sitting and home and dying from boredom.

We start talking about social anxiety and right in the midst of our conversation, I see this guy in a white Escalade across the street yelling at some black girl I walk over there to get a closer ear on what he's saying... "bee-eye-itch I will effing kill you, you better effing pay me you wanna die..." I start relaying everything to my homeboy over the phone and he totally thought I was bullshizznitting. I was not. The guy pulls in the parking lot and tries to block the girl in, so she turns around and starts walking the other way, then the security gets involved. The dude had the most pinheaded outfit on I was effing laughing out loud... it was like the 2002 version of Imma Git You Sucka fly guy apparel. Not cutting it. So I walk back over to my car and I noticed a guy sitting in a white Caddy next to my ride, and he overheard me talking to my homeboy over my phone so he chimed in... "That man got it all wrong... he out here doin the same thing I doin, but he gonna be the one getting knocked off tonight..." I said to my boy-lemme call you back. I got off my phone.

I walk over to the guy and was like "did you see how lame that dude was, he was totally a pimp trying to eff with that girl" and the dude gets out of his car and says "shiiit whachooo think I'm doin up in here" I'm like damn man, you pimpin too... "yeah man I got 3 girls out here tonight" That's where the fun begins... homeboys name is Scorpio. He was actually on the Ripley's Believ it or not show and had 2000 Scorpions poured over his body on live television. He has a pet Scorpion which he wears on his shoulder while he strollls along Venice Beach on cool Sundays afternoons... I talked to him from 12:30am to 4am.

See, the whole time I talked to him we were waiting for one of his tricks to come back, she was with a regular 'client' and she seemed to have been gone for quite awhile now, he was starting to worry, she was one of his top girls. At this point, all mthe people I came with had bailed, and I was still hanging with this guy at 2am after the club closed. He says "man I'm gettin worried about her, roll with me while I look for her" I figured, eff it man, this is life and you may only get one chance to do the things you wanna do so eff it, there is a reason this is all happening. So I got in the car... effing it was nuts... 3am all the people get out of the clubs/bars/etc and are lookin for hookers and/or pimping them. The cars were swarming everywhere like sharks. And the cops were among them, helicopters, unmarked, black and whites.... effing seriously nuts. And here I am in the car with a pimp... what the eff am I doing. But eff it I wasn't scared, I was pretty effin buzzed and I knew I wasn't doing nothing wrong. We find his girl, she had a black eye and her purse was gone... someone raped her and took her/his money. So effing beat. I'm sitting in the car while he talks to her and she's crying and crap and her clothes are ripped... oh man. This is effing LA life. And it aint just LA. It's everywhere. Homeboy gave me his number and says he wants to chill and crap...

Now all you people that go through your everyday lives without thinking about anyone but yourselves.... if you ever want a harsh dose of reality, take a second to look around in LA... really check out the crap in between the cracks. Best of all. I spent a whole ZERO dollars tonight. I got a free lesson in life. Who says nothing in life is free....

I'm still pretty drunk, and I hope that made sense, Im tired of typing now and I will go to bed. peace

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