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AKIA Joke Corner

Started by Sniper33 , Mar 31 2003 05:41 PM

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143 replies to this topic

#51 AmoiMan

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Posted 13 April 2003 - 05:37 AM

how would her parents punish her if she was REALLY bad?

They'd leave the plunger in the toilet......

^_^
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#52 mimoman

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Posted 13 April 2003 - 07:46 AM

Poor Helen Keller :lol: ... aw heck, keep 'em coming!!

-mimoman ^_^
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#53 TheOrgg

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Posted 14 April 2003 - 05:27 AM

So there's this panda who walks into this Bar and Grill. The waitress comes over, and he orders a Hamburger, some fries, and a malt. He eats the hamburger and fries, then drinks the malt. When it's time for him to leave, he goes to the waitress, pulls out a shotgun and puts the trigger to her head.

The bartender yells "HEY! YOU JUST KILLED THE WAITRESS!"

The panda says "I'm a Panda. Look it up." and walks out the door.


The bartender picks up a dictionary and looks for panda.

Pan'|da - A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.
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And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.

#54 Rokk

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Posted 14 April 2003 - 06:35 AM

B) Pretty good Panda joke.
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#55 arforbes

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Posted 14 April 2003 - 01:26 PM

I can't get out of this thread because I'm on the floor rolling and can't reach the mouse. Very funny jokes guys. :mellow:

B)
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#56 mimoman

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Posted 14 April 2003 - 03:51 PM

B) It's funny because Panda's are endangered.

-mimoman :mellow:
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#57 TheOrgg

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Posted 14 April 2003 - 07:06 PM

:D It's funny because Panda's are endangered.

-mimoman ^_^

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:mellow:
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Our glorious Milky Way is a tiny, infinitesimal speck of sand in this vast, incomprehensible universe. And somewhere in that Milky Way is our own solar system, less than one billionth of that speck of sand that is the Milky Way. And then there is our planet Earth, one hundred trillionth of that one billionth of that one speck of sand. And on this planet Earth there is DEV-0, an insignificant blemish with a lifespan too short to measure when placed in infinite time.

And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.

#58 Sniper33

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Posted 14 April 2003 - 07:34 PM

Thats pretty funny orgg.
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#59 kinder muscle

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Posted 17 April 2003 - 07:32 PM

Did ya'll hear about the Dyslexic who walked into a Bra?

HA HA HA HA HA HA wait......*relizes his sister is dyslexic* ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH bacha bacha!!!!!!!!! *kick* *kick* errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............................(don't make me angry)
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#60 Rokk

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 05:30 AM

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............................(don't make me angry)

You won't like him when he's angry. He turns big and green. e+
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#61 Guest_General Veers_*

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 06:15 AM

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............................(don't make me angry)

You won't like him when he's angry. He turns big and green. ^_^

e+

THAT was funny!!
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#62 Tortle

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 06:38 AM

How many Borg does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

ALL of them!!


That's a shout-out to all the Star Trek fans out there... e+

-Nathan
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#63 TheOrgg

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 12:52 PM

I can't believe I'm still laughing at the borg joke.

I don't even know why I find it so funny....

trying to ketch my breath...oh boy...
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Our glorious Milky Way is a tiny, infinitesimal speck of sand in this vast, incomprehensible universe. And somewhere in that Milky Way is our own solar system, less than one billionth of that speck of sand that is the Milky Way. And then there is our planet Earth, one hundred trillionth of that one billionth of that one speck of sand. And on this planet Earth there is DEV-0, an insignificant blemish with a lifespan too short to measure when placed in infinite time.

And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.

#64 arforbes

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 01:16 PM

This topic should be pinned. :D

There is some really funny crap in here, and we can always come back to it when we come across other funny jokes. :unsure:

B)
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#65 AmoiMan

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 02:02 PM

Um....what's a Borg?
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#66 arforbes

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 02:10 PM

Um....what's a Borg?

You've never seen Star Trek. The borg are the collective race...they have huge Cube starships. They are the half robot half humans.

"We are borg...resistance is futile."

:sheep:
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#67 Imp

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 05:09 PM

I got this one in my email...

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum.
"I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out."

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."


:sheep:
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#68 Imp

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 05:11 PM

And another one:

Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training.
Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech which, went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!"

His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"


Sounds like someone needs gingko bilboa... :sheep:
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#69 kinder muscle

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 06:00 PM

You won't like him when he's angry. He turns big and green.

HA HA HA HA HA HA im hulk jr. ha ha h ah a ha ha........................errrrrrrrrrrrr






ALEX SMASH!!!!!!!!!!
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#70 TheOrgg

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 09:38 PM

Did ya'll hear about the Dyslexic who walked into a Bra?

HA HA HA HA HA HA wait......*relizes his sister is dyslexic* ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH bacha bacha!!!!!!!!! *kick* *kick* errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............................(don't make me angry)

hot dammit! I'm simi dyslexic! I can joke about it!

It's not like I made a joke about making sacrifices to santa!
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Our glorious Milky Way is a tiny, infinitesimal speck of sand in this vast, incomprehensible universe. And somewhere in that Milky Way is our own solar system, less than one billionth of that speck of sand that is the Milky Way. And then there is our planet Earth, one hundred trillionth of that one billionth of that one speck of sand. And on this planet Earth there is DEV-0, an insignificant blemish with a lifespan too short to measure when placed in infinite time.

And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.

#71 Sniper33

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 10:05 PM

hot dammit! I'm simi dyslexic! I can joke about it!

It's not like I made a joke about making sacrifices to santa



Since when does Santa take souls? Seems more like a job for SATAN :D !!!

What a sad sad world this is when good ol saint nick is taking the innocent.
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#72 TheOrgg

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 10:57 PM

Dude...

It was another Dyslexic joke.
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Our glorious Milky Way is a tiny, infinitesimal speck of sand in this vast, incomprehensible universe. And somewhere in that Milky Way is our own solar system, less than one billionth of that speck of sand that is the Milky Way. And then there is our planet Earth, one hundred trillionth of that one billionth of that one speck of sand. And on this planet Earth there is DEV-0, an insignificant blemish with a lifespan too short to measure when placed in infinite time.

And you are here, with them, as so many specks of sand.

#73 arforbes

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Posted 18 April 2003 - 11:18 PM

Dude...

It was another Dyslexic joke.

Haha! :D

e+
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#74 smackman

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Posted 19 April 2003 - 12:12 AM

Dude...

It was another Dyslexic joke.

Haha! :D

B)

LOL! Thats too funny! e+
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#75 mimoman

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Posted 20 April 2003 - 07:10 AM

How many Borg does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

ALL of them!!


That's a shout-out to all the Star Trek fans out there... B)

-Nathan

:huh: I know about Borg and all that, but I don't understand the joke.

-mimoman :lol:
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