he makes his way to the kitchen and fixes himself some oatmeal and sits down to stare out the window and watch the birds in the walnut tree. he remembers when they planted it. they'd just bought the house a year after they were married. the tree's grown huge in the past fifty years. he's too old to harvest the nuts so they end up on the ground every fall. the birds make a loud racket as they hop up and down the branches chirping at each other. oh how she'd get a kick out of their bickering. it was her favorite thing about the tree. her least favorite was the fall colors of the leaves. they're starting to turn that ugly yellow now. they never really turned a pretty color. it was always yellow straight to a dried up dark brown. he puts his bowl in the sink to rinse it before putting it in the dishwasher. that dishwasher had a pretty easy life up until six months ago. she would always pre-wash everything before putting it in. drove him crazy.
he slips his arms through the sleeves of his maroon sweater and buttons it up. he takes his wool cap off of the hook and steps out the back door. the concrete steps out the back door always make his knees ache. he looks up into the walnut tree and sees the chickadees still talking to each other. he smiles warmly thinking again how much she loved those birds. he walks around the back path to the side of the house, kicking walnuts aside so as to not slip on one. as he makes his way from the side of the house to the driveway out front he smells the air. it has that sweet fresh smell after a mild rain storm where all the plants seem to emit a candy scent.
his walk down to the park reminds him of their walks together with their little dog. cute little italian greyhound with a heart the size of a lion's. he'd dance back and forth between them not sure who he loved more. his chest and throat tighten as his loneliness re-emerges. the park is full of young people running around and playing. lover's holding each other. children shouting and screaming with joy. he gives everyone a half smile as he meets their eyes with his. the hill isn't steep but it does make his knees ache even more. at the top he looks toward the bench.
the sun's already broken through the clouds and dried up the last of the rain save for a few tiny puddles. he leans forward and sweeps the remnants of the rain away with his hand. he slowly sits down on the hard wooden slats and looks across the other side of the park. from up here most of the people seem far away. the tops of the trees are beautiful shades of orange, red and yellow. this was her favorite time of the year. she could stare for hours at the fall colors. she always found the beauty in everything and fell in love with it. not everyone understood her, even he didn't sometimes.
the sky is an unusual shade of blue after the storm. it has a light tinge of green and look exactly like her eye color. the last of the high clouds appear like long strands of whisping hair and he can almost see her face in the sky.
"it's been six months now. i'm trying to carry on like people say you would have wanted. even though you're gone i still see you in everything." he starts to cry as he speaks. "why did you have to leave me. i miss you so much. this isn't living when my heart is dead. why couldn't i go with you." his grief washes over him like a large wave. as the wave slowly drains away he looks to the sky and says, "forever and always i love you".
the wind blows gently over him like a sand dune in the desert. as it passes it takes what little life was left in his body and carries it up into that beautiful blue green sky. the same blue green color as her eyes.
Edited by dankingery, 05 October 2008 - 11:08 AM.