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GoGo's Crazy Bones: Miro-K's Return


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#1 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 10:47 AM

This is my first 'fic here so bear with me, and go easy on me with the constructive criticism, I'm new here.

Chapter 1: Vision
Posted Image

One starry night, we see the GoGo B-King meditating on the top of a hill, and he sees a vision in his head. The vision involved a reddish-colored GoGo with a blue mask, beady black eyes, two blue vertical stripes on his head, four white dots in a 2x2 formation where his mouth would be, and a distinctive white swirl on his stomach. The vision also showed the red GoGo in a K.O. game with his eyes ablaze with a bluish glow, before going at his opponents, striking them at different places, knocking them out, with the red GoGo then standing triumphant, his eyes still glowing. B-King instantly awoke from his meditation with a shocked look in his singular eye. He thinks to himself, "This GoGo in my vision...It is familiar...Could it be?"

He then turns to see Mosh, Nasako, and Sato coming towards him. "Something the matter, B-King?", asks Mosh curiously. "Change is coming, Mosh, change is coming", replied B-King. "Whaddya mean by that?!", Sato asks roughly. "He will return, Sato...", replied B-King ominously. "Who, may I ask?", wonders Nasako. "Miro-K...", replied B-King. "Who's Miro-K, B-King?", asks Mosh. "Yeah, gramps, spit it out!", demanded Sato. "Sato, be respectful!", chided Nasako. "Have you ever heard of the ancient GoGo's?", asks B-King. "Yes, sir", replies Mosh. "Miro-K is the last of the ancient GoGo's", said B-King then. Mosh and Nasako then gasped, but not Sato. "You kidding me, old man? Miro-K is a myth just like those other ancient GoGo's Umu's been going on about lately at the pool!", shouted Sato. "What did I just say, Sato?!", yelled Nasako. "Hey, stop fighting, you two!", scolded Mosh. "Thank you, young Mosh, it is bothersome to see those two bicker", said B-King. "So, what the heck does Miro-K look like anyways?", asks Nasako. "Miro-K is a reddish-colored GoGo with a blue mask over his tiny black eyes, two blue vertical stripes on his head, four white dots in a square-shaped formation where his mouth would be, and white swirl on his stomach", described B-King.

"So what's his favorite game, huh?", asks Sato. "Miro-K's favorite game is K.O., just to let you know, my brash child", replied the wise GoGo. "Hey, that's Mosh's favorite!", smiled Nasako, "I bet he has a super-cool ability that kicks butt!". "Miro-K has the Mystic Star Gaze ability, which gives him unbelievable leadership skills, and allows him to find the weaknesses of his opponents", explained B-King with a shine in his single eye. "An ability that allows him to find the weak points of his opponents?! That's awesome!", smugged Sato. B-King chuckled, "It certainly is. Now run along you three, it is past your bedtime". "Okay, good night, B-King", said Mosh as he and his compatriots leave the area.

Chapter End

Edited by AlexTheCollector, 20 May 2011 - 02:25 PM.

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#2 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 03:18 PM

Chapter 2: Enter Miro-K
Posted Image

Word has spread fast among the GoGos of Miro-K's imminent return, and they decided that they should to set up a "Welcome Back" party for the ancient one. On the day that Miro-K would arrive, the GoGos have set up decorations, snacks, and music. Plus, they had to keep gluttonous Okori from eating all the snacks and uber-thirsty Tsu from drinking all the fruit punch, or there wouldn't be any for Miro-K. When everything's done, Shizuoka came rushing in screaming, "He's coming!". As if on cue, he arrives; Miro-K. He's just like B-King described: red, wears a blue mask, has two blue stripes on his head, has four white dots on his face, and a white swirl on his stomach. The GoGo's shouted, "Welcome back, Miro-K!". Miro-K had a smiling look in his eyes and asks in a deep voice like a king speaking out to his subjects, "You've set up a party, for me, the great Miro-K of the ancient GoGos? I am touched by you whippersnappers for this!"

"Glad you liked it, o ancient one", said B-King respectfully as he bows before the red GoGo. "Please, my fellow GoGo, this bowing is not necessary, but I do appreciate the respect", replied Miro-K. An eager Mosh then came up to him. "Hi!", smiled the lime-green GoGo. "Why hello, who is this happy young one?", Miro-K smiles back. "This is Mosh, Miro-K, and he has a Magic Smile", started B-King, "And like you, his favorite game is K.O.". "An honor to meet you, Miro-K", grinned Mosh. "Pleasure to meet you, too, Mosh", Miro-K said back, as he then goes over to the other GoGo's to get to know them better. Miro-K was particularly impressed with Sato's unyieldly fighting spirit and potent K.O. Punch, Helly's blazing speed, Hiraku's stories of his days on the sea, Fist's powerful Ultimate Grip ability, Umu's knowledgability, Cubic's amazing repair skills, Nuclos' ability to make the air clean by absorbing the pollutants in it, Jelly's unparalleled bravery, and especially Croc's chess skills. Though he is rather disturbed by Okori's gluttonus nature, annoyed with Aotri's egocentrism, and startled by Oh! jumping out from behind.

Miro-K then went over to the snack table and picked up a hot dog, but didn't eat it and just stared at it, curious. "Say, Miro-K, why aren't you eating your hot dog?", asks B-King as he comes over to where the ancient red GoGo is. "I do not know what to make of this food. I've just recently came out of centuries of isolation", answered Miro-K. "Hey, don't you worry your little blue mask, K-man! It's just a sausage link of meat in a bun!", reassured Sato in his own cocky way. Miro-K then takes a bite out of his hot dog, chews it up, and swallows. "You know, that was actually delicious", noted Miro-K. "You better believe it!", smugged Sato as he pours some punch into a cup and drinks it. All and all, everyone, especially Miro-K, the guest of honor, had a wonderful time, until B-King realized he almost forgot something. "I almost completely forgot something about Miro-K: he's also a survival expert!", announced B-King, as Miro-K chuckles, "Indeed I am!"

Chapter End

Edited by AlexTheCollector, 22 May 2011 - 04:23 PM.

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#3 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 06:58 PM

say, anyone gonna give some critique on my story?
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#4 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 15 May 2011 - 07:13 PM

hey, I'm trying to think of what the third chapter should be about. got any suggestions? (going to Hell doesn't count)
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#5 Toxoviper

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Posted 17 May 2011 - 06:29 PM

Can you please add pictures to this book ? Kay Thanks You
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#6 Strontium Dog

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Posted 17 May 2011 - 07:39 PM

say, anyone gonna give some critique on my story?


Too much dialogue. Grammatical tense all over the place. Feeble characterisation.

At least you can spell, though.
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#7 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 18 May 2011 - 05:29 AM

@ Toxoviper: I'll see what I can do

@ Strontium Dog: Thanks for pointing that out, man!
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#8 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 21 May 2011 - 05:51 AM

hey Strontium Dog, how would like it if we're co-authors? :joecool:
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#9 Toxoviper

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 04:35 PM

Chapter 2: Enter Miro-K
Posted Image

Word has spread fast among the GoGos of Miro-K's imminent return, and they decided that they should to set up a "Welcome Back" party for the ancient one. On the day that Miro-K would arrive, the GoGos have set up decorations, snacks, and music. Plus, they had to keep gluttonous Okori from eating all the snacks and uber-thirsty Tsu from drinking all the fruit punch, or there wouldn't be any for Miro-K. When everything's done, Shizuoka came rushing in screaming, "He's coming!". As if on cue, he arrives; Miro-K. He's just like B-King described: red, wears a blue mask, has two blue stripes on his head, has four white dots on his face, and a white swirl on his stomach. The GoGo's shouted, "Welcome back, Miro-K!". Miro-K had a smiling look in his eyes and asks in a deep voice like a king speaking out to his subjects, "You've set up a party, for me, the great Miro-K of the ancient GoGos? I am touched by you whippersnappers for this!"

"Glad you liked it, o ancient one", said B-King respectfully as he bows before the red GoGo. "Please, my fellow GoGo, this bowing is not necessary, but I do appreciate the respect", replied Miro-K. An eager Mosh then came up to him. "Hi!", smiled the lime-green GoGo. "Why hello, who is this happy young one?", Miro-K smiles back. "This is Mosh, Miro-K, and he has a Magic Smile", started B-King, "And like you, his favorite game is K.O.". "An honor to meet you, Miro-K", grinned Mosh. "Pleasure to meet you, too, Mosh", Miro-K said back, as he then goes over to the other GoGo's to get to know them better. Miro-K was particularly impressed with Sato's unyieldly fighting spirit and potent K.O. Punch, Helly's blazing speed, Hiraku's stories of his days on the sea, Fist's powerful Ultimate Grip ability, Umu's knowledgability, Cubic's amazing repair skills, Nuclos' ability to make the air clean by absorbing the pollutants in it, Jelly's unparalleled bravery, and especially Croc's chess skills. Though he is rather disturbed by Okori's gluttonus nature, annoyed with Aotri's egocentrism, and startled by Oh! jumping out from behind.

Miro-K then went over to the snack table and picked up a hot dog, but didn't eat it and just stared at it, curious. "Say, Miro-K, why aren't you eating your hot dog?", asks B-King as he comes over to where the ancient red GoGo is. "I do not know what to make of this food. I've just recently came out of centuries of isolation", answered Miro-K. "Hey, don't you worry your little blue mask, K-man! It's just a sausage link of meat in a bun!", reassured Sato in his own cocky way. Miro-K then takes a bite out of his hot dog, chews it up, and swallows. "You know, that was actually delicious", noted Miro-K. "You better believe it!", smugged Sato as he pours some punch into a cup and drinks it. All and all, everyone, especially Miro-K, the guest of honor, had a wonderful time, until B-King realized he almost forgot something. "I almost completely forgot something about Miro-K: he's also a survival expert!", announced B-King, as Miro-K chuckles, "Indeed I am!"

Chapter End



Alex I’ve had time to review chapter 1.

It starts out slow then you heat it up with the dirty gritty details.

I want our concentration on this paragraph

This how we need to continue on with the story.
I love it, you have sausage,you have cocky, and swallows.

Miro-K then went over to the snack table and picked up a hot dog, but didn't eat it and just stared at it, curious. "Say, Miro-K, why aren't you eating your hot dog?", asks B-King as he comes over to where the ancient red GoGo is. "I do not know what to make of this food. I've just recently came out of centuries of isolation", answered Miro-K. "Hey, don't you worry your little blue mask, K-man! It's just a sausage link of meat in a bun!", reassured Sato in his own cocky way. Miro-K then takes a bite out of his hot dog, chews it up, and swallows. "You know, that was actually delicious", noted Miro-K.
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#10 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:01 PM

I'll be sure to take the advice
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#11 Toxoviper

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:05 PM

I'll be sure to take the advice


Not just the advice but the sausage link of meat in a bun.
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#12 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:18 PM

OK then
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#13 Toxoviper

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:29 PM

OK then


Alex, I’ve done a small rewrite. Let me know how you feel.
Mostly just grammatical errors on your part. But I cleaned it up.


Miro-K then went over to the snack table and picked up a big wiener , but didn't put his mouth on it, just stared at it curious. "Say, Miro-K, why aren't you eating your wiener ?", asks
B-Ding as he comes over to where the ancient red GoGo is. "I do not know what to make of this big wiener. I've just recently came out", answered Miro-K. "Hey, don't you worry your little blue mask, K-man! It's just a sausage link of meat in a bun!", reassured Sato in his own cocky way. Miro-K then takes a mouth full of his big wiener and swallows. "You know, that was actually delicious", noted Miro-K.

Edited by Toxoviper, 10 June 2011 - 05:34 PM.

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#14 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:32 PM

you spelled B-King wrong. Also, I've aquired one of the five most wanted Gogos today, whoooooo!
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#15 Toxoviper

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:36 PM

you spelled B-King wrong. Also, I've aquired one of the five most wanted Gogos today, whoooooo!


I thought B-Ding was more of a fitting name for our GoGo's Tale.
Am I in the wrong ?

No B-Ding ?
What if I want B-Ding ?

What if I prefer Wendy's to B-King for my hamburgers ?
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#16 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:38 PM

you crack me up!
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#17 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 05:57 PM

Toxoviper's not friends with me anymore.

oh wait that was double posting! oh well...
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#18 Soupie

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Posted 10 June 2011 - 06:43 PM

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#19 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 11 June 2011 - 04:34 AM

what's that gif supposed to mean?
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#20 Soupie

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Posted 11 June 2011 - 08:07 AM

what's that gif supposed to mean?

It sums up how I feel about this thread: Utter enjoyment with a healthy dose of WTF.
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#21 Toxoviper

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Posted 11 June 2011 - 10:23 AM

It sums up how I feel about this thread: Utter enjoyment with a healthy dose of WTF.


Soupie your the type of friend I need here on the boards.
Not the backstabbing turn on you when the money starts flowing in type like Alex.
Subsequently I put in a friend request to you.
We can spend many long nights chatting about BEB & GPK . :give_rose:
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#22 AlexTheCollector

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Posted 11 June 2011 - 03:53 PM

Ericnilla doesn't like how you're acting like a d-word to me, Toxo!
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#23 Toxoviper

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Posted 11 June 2011 - 06:54 PM

Ericnilla doesn't like how you're acting like a d-word to me, Toxo!


So this is how its going to go down Alex?
You cause SD to leave the project, then everything starts going the right way.
As soon as you realize were pulling in the money, you get greedy and fire me off the project.

Then you garner the attention of other LRG and start slandering my name.

It’s obvious to me you don’t want any other GoGo’s Fan fiction written.

You must have gotten nervous and felt my hot dog GoGo’s FanFic was going to take off.

Well I have news for you, my GoGo’s hot dog Fanfic is about to erupt.
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#24 jkaris

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Posted 11 June 2011 - 11:37 PM

:lol:

Love the gif Soups.

I do have to say that I am a bit confused. At first it seemed like Toxoviper was just having a little bit of fun with Aelx, but now it seems like they are both totally serious WTF?

Anyways, Alex, you can always add Toxoviper to your ignore list, if you don't want to see his posts anymore. :lol:
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#25 Toxoviper

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Posted 12 June 2011 - 07:01 PM

:lol:

Love the gif Soups.

I do have to say that I am a bit confused. At first it seemed like Toxoviper was just having a little bit of fun with Aelx, but now it seems like they are both totally serious WTF?

Anyways, Alex, you can always add Toxoviper to your ignore list, if you don't want to see his posts anymore. :lol:


Jon who in their right mind would not want to see my posts !? :shok:

I think you and Alex are in cahoots. :angry:

I think your just a fan of the name Alex. :p
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