the Jury: Ideals Made Real (translation: Somebody

Well, I had jury duty today.

...yay...

here's the whole ordeal for you. It stared sometime in February, or so, when I received a jury summons. I told them that I was in college, and thus it had to be cancelled. however, the California court system refuses to cancel things, so they simply rescheduled it to four days before I turn 21.

This summer, it was madness just getting ahold of the documents to sign- my family has a bad habit of taking anything important that belongs to the "Children," and destroying it. Or hiding it. or something. I swear that my dad almost ate my 'signed affidavit," and my sister was probably trying to burn the notice itself. After signing the mail-in form, I was forced to trust Cindy, our office Manager, to mail it herself.

...Which means that the CA state government will probably never see it, and I shall be going to jail very soon.

Finally, the day came. My sister was going to drive me up (it doesn't matter how many times I try to get a license, my family eats the phone numbers, documents, etc.... EVIL). I got the directions for her, planned everything out, and got ready to go to bed...

PLanning: The form said to bring a book to pass the time. Since I'm not entirely too big on the idea of being in a jury, I took a moment to think to myself of which book I should bring, and wy:

The Bible; Guaranteed not top be chosen to sit in any court. In fact, they might just stone me on the spot for carrying it into a government building!

Democracy in America: Again, a big no-no for the federal government. however, I'm currently reading through it right now, so there are a few advantages.

Winning the War Against radical islam: See entry for "The Bible," and add "Tar and feathering."

I went for Democracy in America. I value my life.

Here's exactly how today went:

I had two hours of sleep.

My alarm did not go off. this means that I woke up at 7:40 AM, for my 7:45 AM court appointment. In a mad dashing panic, I threw some clothes on (no shower, no shave... me cro-magnon MAN!), grabbed the book, and my sister and I dashed off.

Now- if anyone here is familiar with the California freeways, then i do not need to explain this. The trip was roughly eight miles. it took roughly twenty minutes across the freeway. or more. Traffic was characterized by mexican-driven trucks travelling as slow as they could possibly move. Thoughts ran through my head- mainly, was I going to spend my 21st Birthday in jail, being "Fernando's bee-eye-itch?" After all, the notice DID say that being late or absent is grounds for a $1,500 fine and 5 days in prison.

Strangely enough, the entire court system was late that day- arriving at 8:15, or whatever wasn't considered "late." I'll never understand California.

Anyway, this chick who looked exactly like Rosie O'Donnellw as explaining to us how to be a juror, because being a juror is FUN, and we should all have FUN deciding whether another person lives or dies.

0_o;

After she explained this, we got to watch a movie! Said movie is titled "The Jury: Ideals Made Real." basically, it was a fifteen-minute film dedicated to saying what Rosie had said, only with more saccharine.

"I think that deliberating was the most fun part of being a juror! I really had a great time deciding if the guy was goiing to jail or not!"

"I enjoyed listening in, and watching the lawyers! I think that I'll run out and volunteer again!"

"The office of Juror is the most important office in the history of the United States of America. And we chose YOU for it, because you're SPECIAL."

I wanted to die.

Anyway- they gave us a quick break, which meant that I could get free coffee, buy peanuts (limited funds), and eat and drink for a few minutes before reading. Once the penuts and coffee were gone, I died. Literally. I didn't just doze off, my head THUNKED the trable, and my eyes were squinted shut. yet, I was still conscious enough to wake up when Rosie spoke over the loudspeaker.

Guess what, folks? The first case today was slated to last for 56 days, and everybody had to get in line for it! Seeing as how I'll be abck in college in about 30 days, though, i got out of *that* one. We had a few more calls, cases, etc, but my name hadn't come up. I died again.

Finally,at "Lunch break Time," Rosie told everyone to go to lunch... except for groups 2001 and 2002. I was in 2001. You see, they were deciding something about "our case," which apaprently needed all fifty or so of us. So, while everyone else ate and partied, we waited.

Rosie's next words brought comfort to my soul.

"Ladies and gentlemen, something rare has just happened! Your case has been settled out of court, and everyone in groups 2001 and 2002 can go home now! Your term of service for this year has ended!"

...

Apparently, my "Term of Service" to the government involves eating peanuts and falling asleep. But hey, I got to keep the badge! Ain't Calfiornia grand?

#1 Ridureyu

#2 jkaris

#3 Ridureyu

#4 Doctor Dew

#5 theCrazyest

#6 Ridureyu

#7 jkaris

Attached Files

#8 theCrazyest